We All Have Hope
by LoveisHeartbreak
Summary: Bella turns to drastic action to escape an abusive relationship. Alice chooses to change the course of the future to save her brother and in turn her family. AU, OOC. ON HIATUS
1. Rushing Suicide

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight.**

**Apologies to all Jacob Black fans, you probably wont be too happy with me if you read this...**

**Chapter 1:**** Rushing Suicide**

BPOV

"Give me one good reason. Come on. You must have one or you wouldn't be here." My words were harsh, bitter, even to my own ears, but I did not regret them. He deserved to suffer the way I had for so long. I took another step back and watched as his eyes widened in fear. I wanted to laugh, to smile, because his fear was what I had been waiting for. I could feel my heel at the edge of the rock where it dropped into the raging river below.

"I can't let you do this. I wont let you leave me. I love you." His voice was pleading and anguished as I prepared to throw myself into the rushing waters below.

"_**You**__ left __**me**_." My voice was loud, I was angry and now frustrated that he was fracturing the small amount of control I had over my emotions. I took a deep breath and tried again.

"You left me, I see no reason to believe you now. You don't need to pretend just to save me. You have proven to me already that I'm not worth that." My voice was dead and empty again. I mentally applauded my performance although I was unsure if he would buy it. I watched with contempt as he dropped to his knees before me.

"If this is what you choose..." his voice was a mere whisper, "then I shall follow you into death. My life is not worth living without you in it." I merely watched as he looked for a reaction from me. I had learned too much about him though, spent too much time around him. I knew a lie when I saw one.

"Liar." My laughter was short, without humor, and he stood then with a grim expression. He didn't like being caught in a lie and he certainly didn't like it when I called him out on it. I leaned back with a small movement but this time his eyes held no emotion. His acting facade was gone, I had won.

I watched him turn from me and I leaned back a little bit farther, letting my eyes slide shut as gravity took effect. I knew what came next, the free falling sensation that would accompany the drop, because I had jumped from here many times when the river was calm. I heard the wind rushing past me as the roar of the water grew in volume but I did not scream.

As my body hit the water I felt a shiver run through me and then a burst of adrenaline as my body naturally fought to save itself but it was flood season and the current was stronger than I would ever be. As I was shoved and moved by the rapids I could feel the water taking away my air. I knew the time would be soon where I could no longer breathe.

I don't know how long I was twirled, flipped, and rushed until out of the dark waters rose even darker rocks. I could feel them as I hurled past inches from smashing my fragile body on their sharp edges. The next thing I knew was the shattering moment of my body hitting those sharp edges as the waters rushed me right into a larger jagged rock.

My eyes saw stars as the pain rocketed through my bones and then things started to become hazy and dark. I welcomed the darkness as my prelude to death and as the waters closed over me I said my final goodbye:

_Fuck you Jacob Black._

* * *

APOV

Sometimes there are things you wish you couldn't see. You wish you could block them out and never know what happened because knowing meant you had to do something about it, knowing meant that he would know too, as soon as it popped into your head again.

Today became one of those days again, I have been dodging Edward all day, using Jasper to keep him occupied as I pretended to be too busy to even speak to him. I had been watching as things took a turn for the worse. I knew the minute she chose to go to the river that she would die if I stood by and did nothing.

I also knew now that I had to keep what I was going to do a secret because it would tear this family apart if I stuck around to explain to them what I was going to do. I knew that separation would be key to everything turning out okay in the end. I had already told Jasper that we were leaving today, although I had not told him why.

Of course Edward would see this, as I told Jasper not to hide it, and he would wonder why but he would not question it. We were free to come and go as we pleased. I had chosen to go hunting that day, as an excuse to leave the rest of the family and watch the river.

I watched in silence as she stood at the edge of the cliff, as he begged her to reconsider. Then there was the betrayal, the one she knew was coming. She knew him too well to believe all of his lies anymore. I could feel the surge of pity as he turned away from her in cold indifference, he would merely have to find another to abuse, one who wouldn't leave.

I had thought about killing him, God knows he deserved to die for the things he had done to Bella, but I was not one to pass judgment on who lived or died. I did not have the power to violate the treaty, it would devastate Carlisle and start a war.

I continued to watch as she fell and Jacob disappeared into the trees towards La Push. I knew now, as he walked away, exactly what would happen. She would be knocked unconscious as she ran into a rock in the river and drown.

I, of course, would not allow the latter to occur though so as she drifted into unconsciousness I dropped down into the water and grabbed her before the water could fill up her lungs.

I climbed out of the gorge with one arm around her waist and ran for the cover of the trees before I switched to carry her more comfortably in both arms. I ran as far away from Forks and La Push that I dared to before stopping at a meadow and laying her unconscious form in the grass.

I could hear her heart pounding hard to keep the blood flowing but I knew that she would die soon if I did not change her. I sat down for a moment, cross-legged next to her, as I watched her unconscious form.

All of this was for my brother, I could do this and I knew it would be okay in the end but I also knew the kind of pain it would take to get there. Yet it could not be worse than the pain and destruction that would occur if she truly died.

I knew that none of our family could lose Edward as a result of her death. So I had planned everything out. I had gone to her father, Charlie's, house and gathered up a bag of her clothing and grabbed her stash of money.

I had then written a note to Charlie telling him that she was sorry and that she had left because she couldn't stand to stay in Forks with Jacob and the abuse. I had ended it with her saying she loved him and that she might return someday, then I had taken her beat up old truck and destroyed it.

It's parts were scattered in tiny pieces all throughout different Seattle auto body shops. No one would be the wiser. I had proceeded then to inform Jasper of our leaving for a time and my plans were then set. Only Jacob would know what he thought had really happened, her death, and he was leaving soon on his own journey.

Edward would never know, at least not until it was okay for him to know. The only flaw was his decision. I could not yet see if he would follow her to keep her safe or if he would let her go to live her own life. I would only know once he learned of her running away.

I knew then that my choice was made, I had seen this and I knew this was the best way. Sometimes there are things you wish you couldn't see but that was my gift and that is the way things worked out for me. So I saw the things I wish I couldn't and I tried my hardest to keep my family safe with the things I saw.

My eyes flickered down to her unconscious body again and then I swiftly pulled her to me before puling down the front of her shirt a bit and biting as close to her heart as I could get. Her body jerked in my arms and I tightened my grip to hold her still.

I could feel my mouth filling with venom. I quickly moved to bite again, working to get as much venom as I could into her. I felt the blood lust taking over my senses and I fought the red haze as my body's instincts screamed at me to drink my fill.

Then I was up, I laid her down in the grass again and moved swiftly to the trees where I could hunt and then return to Jasper. I was careful to spit out the blood that had invaded my mouth and I used the water of a stream I crossed to wash the rest of it out before taking down a few deer.

With my hunger somewhat dealt with I called Jasper, being careful to stay far enough away from the body without being too far that I couldn't protect her or save her if her heart failed.

"Alice?" A rough familiar voice spoke as soon as the call connected. I sighed in relief, I had only been gone a few hours and I already missed my Jasper.

"Jasper I need you to meet me, we are leaving now. Did you tell Carlisle and Esme?" I kept my hearing trained on Bella's heart as he responded.

"Yes, they know and of course they must accept it but I did tell them we would return, that this was merely a vacation. A long vacation." His tone was stressed, neither of us much liked the idea of hurting Esme or Carlisle by leaving so suddenly. I desperately wanted to ask about Edward but I knew that wasn't the best idea in that moment.

"Alright, well then meet me, with the car, in Seattle. Where we agreed to meet, okay?" He agreed quickly and with a quick 'I love you' hung up. I returned to Isabella and picked her up to start the run towards Seattle.

It wasn't a far run but I would have to stay outside the city and wait for Jasper there, I couldn't leave Isabella alone when she had no way to defend herself. The woods were dark as dusk fell and the trees created shadows that would have been frightening to the human eye but I could see well and the cold air had no effect on the already cold skin.

As the lights of the city started to show themselves on the horizon I found a flat grassy area to lay Bella and I sat down next to her to keep watch over her heart beats. About a half hour passed before my phone vibrated in my pocket. I didn't need to check the caller ID to know who it was.

"Jasper." My voice held some relief in it and I was surprised, I hadn't realized that I had been so nervous. He chuckled and I could feel an automatic smile spread across my face.

"I wasn't followed, I'm in Seattle, and I will be up in the woods momentarily. Our family is confused but accepting of our choice to travel for a time." He kept his tone light but I could tell he didn't much enjoy leaving them anymore than I did. Although once I showed him why we were leaving he may accept it more.

"Okay I will see you in exactly two minutes and thirteen seconds." He chuckled again and with a swift goodbye hung up the phone. As he ran into the clearing, just as I said he would, I stepped in front of the body in the grass. I knew he could smell her and I also knew he would not attack her but I took my precautions.

"Alice, what is going on? Why is Bella changing? What happened?" His tone was alarmed as he strode towards her and search her eyes for any tell tale signs of mishap. When he found none he relaxed a bit but the confusion never left his eyes.

I was quick to explain what had happened with Jacob Black and how I could not break the treaty but I could not allow her to die for Edward's sake. I told him of all the plans and how now we needed to leave for a time to help Bella through her transformation. I told him of what I had seen and how I couldn't let Edward kill himself.

It was then that I got my vision. I felt Jaspers hands encircle my waist as my eyes glazed over and my body grew stiff. I could feel the calm he was sending in waves over me but I couldn't not hear him. In that moment by vision was taken up with Edward decision.

He had found out about Bella running away and he was sad but he had chosen not to follow her just yet. We had time. I felt my body relax and Jaspers voice faded back in.

"Alice, what did you see?" I slipped my arms around his waist and hugged him.

"We have some time, Edward isn't going to follow her just yet. We need to go though."

After all my explanations Jasper told me he had brought the car down an abandoned road near where we were and so I picked Bella up and we left to go back to the car. We decided to lay her down in the back seat and strap her in as best we could and after that we were flying down the highway towards the southern United States.

I already knew where we would take her, south of the border was our goal. Bella was going to open her eyes in the tropical setting of Costa Rica, surrounded by the rain forests and plenty of wildlife. I just hoped that Edward stuck to his choice and that Bella did not try to kill us for saving her.

I knew she had made her choice but I had made mine and now she would need to learn to want to live again because I wasn't letting this destroy my family. She didn't need Jacob Black, she had never deserved to be abused. Now she had Edward and I; and in time the rest of the Cullen family.

I was convinced of that much, what now plagued me was if she would be able to love again or even find the will to keep going. I couldn't make her decisions for her, I could only try to convince her of my good intentions. There was always the Volturi, although I planned to keep that from her as long as possible. It was all a matter of what she decided.

I settled into my seat for the long drive but I knew I was nervous and my eyes continually shifted from the road to Bella as Jasper tried unsuccessfully to keep me calm.

* * *

BPOV

I was one hundred percent sure I was in hell. My whole body burned and the fire was so deep in my bones. I could have been melting, I should have been melting, except for the cool touches that sometimes seemed to caress the burning.

My first instinct was to cry out but this was my punishment I knew I deserved it. I kept silent as the burning ripped through me and held on, with what strength I had left, to the shreds of myself I could recall.

Even if I was damned to an eternity in hell, I would not lose myself in here, nor would I forget who I was or how I got here. Where ever I was, I would not be destroyed so easily.

* * *

**Alright, I have no idea where it came from but I like it. :)**

**Let me know what you think? Should I keep going?**


	2. Death Be Kind to Me

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight**

**For this story, anything in bold is flashback, well except my notes at the beginning and end. :)**

**Chapter 2:**** Death Be Kind to Me**

EPOV

Sometimes life doesn't make much sense, today was one of those days when things seemed to turn upside down. I had to make sure I heard correctly, which isn't considering hearing for me was never an issue, well except with her. He had to repeat it about three times before my brain accepted the possibility.

I had been sitting at my desk reading one of her favorites, Wuthering Heights, when Carlisle had returned from a shift at the hospital. This was a rather normal occurrence so I didn't pay much attention to what he was trying to tell me. It was the repetitive nature of his thoughts that alerted me to focus on what he was thinking.

_She ran away. She's gone._

I don't think I've ever moved that fast in the entire century of my life but before I had even thought it through I was standing in front of Carlisle. He didn't seem to surprised at my appearance, though I myself was surprised.

"She ran away Edward. Jacob tried to get her back after leaving and she took her truck, left a note for Charlie, and was just gone. I'm so sorry." His voice was calm but his thoughts were sad, he had cared deeply for Bella as well. I tried hard to think of anything that could explain her disappearance. I had always told her if she needed to get away she should come to me.

I didn't understand why she left. We had talked about this, I thought I had done well in being there for her when they were together. I had wanted to kill him but she had begged me to keep the abuse to myself for a little bit longer. She wanted to leave him on her own, she didn't want help, she had always been so strong.

**"Bella you know you would be happier without him, please. I would protect you from him, he wouldn't come after you if you left." Her eyes were fearful as I spoke of leaving the abusive boyfriend she'd been with even before I had moved here. She didn't believe I could protect her, she knew what Jacob was, a shapeshifter.**

** What she did not know was who I was. She knew what Jacob was capable of, the scars were there to prove it and she was afraid for me. I could see it in her eyes. She wouldn't leave him because she was sure I couldn't protect her.**

** "I want to leave him when I'm ready, when I find the strength to do it. Please just give me a little more time Edward." Her tone was pleading as she begged for me to wait a little bit longer. I growled, frustrated at her loyalty to ****someone who was so cruel to her.**

** "If I wait any longer he will end up killing you. Bella, don't you see the scars he has already caused? You deserve someone who would take care of you and love you, not hit you or cause those injuries." I felt like we had argued about this too many times in the past few months. I was well aware that Bella was my mate, she was my other half but I would never force her into anything. I had seen enough abuse in her relationship with Jake to know that any relationship between her and I had to come from her.**

** "Jake loves me, I know it. He is just having a hard time. Things are... different for Jake. You wouldn't understand." I could tell she was skirting around the shapeshifter issue. I wish I could tell her that it was different, that I could protect her and I would kill him in a heartbeat if she asked, treaty be damned. Telling her would put her in danger with my own kind though. Especially if I had no reason to change her into what I was, especially if she didn't want to be with me.**

He had left the day after that, ran off to god knows where. None of the pack would tell her where he'd gone. He had been away for six months and the effect of him leaving had been devastating at first. Bella had quite literally stayed in bed for a week and when she had finally gotten out of bed to go to school she had been jumpy and freaked out for months.

It was like she was waiting for him to pop out behind every corner and yell april fools or something. Like she expected him to just jump back into her life and continue the abuse. After a few months she had relaxed slightly, Alice and I had been working non-stop to make sure she knew we were always there for her.

Once she started relaxing was when things started to change. Her words and actions towards me shifted to something more... intimate. I hadn't dared to hope that she would have any interest in me but I could see it plain as day when she saw me or spoke to me. Even Alice pointed out how Bella would light up whenever she was around me.

Our activities had changed after that, gone from an in school friendship (to keep Jacob from finding out) to being able to see each other after school and on weekends. Alice would invite her over for movies or makeovers, the silly things girls do, and then leave her with me for most the time anyway.

It was those last few days, before Jacob came back, that I was sure our relationship would develop into something more than friendship. She had been hinting at it almost constantly for the past few days and I had almost made up my mind to ask her if she would consider going on a date with me. The whole idea of a date seemed so high school and not strong enough for the bond we shared but I had to start slow before telling her what I was. I knew she would never be the one to ask me outright. That wasn't proper high school etiquette these days anyway.

Before I got my chance though Jacob had returned and my biggest regret was dong nothing to stop him. He came to school that day, our school, and I had watched while he had practically dragged Bella from her locker to his motorcycle outside. He hadn't been sweet or apologetic, nothing. He had merely grabbed her arm, hard enough to bruise, and dragged her away. I had been standing there too and I had done nothing, even with as I watched her face change to that dead, empty expression as she accepted her fate.

It was like I had been frozen in shock, I hadn't expected him to return, it had been six months. By the time I had moved to do something they were riding away and Alice was running up to me, obviously annoyed that she had to stick to a human pace.

**"I saw her disappear but I couldn't get here in time. Edward why didn't you stop him?!" She looked up at me expectantly but all I could do was stare at the spot they'd rode off too. She grabbed my arm then and shook me hard.**

** "Edward! Hello... anyone home in there?!" I shook my head quickly to clear it and turned to look at her. I was sure my expression was one of confusion because she merely sighed and turned away to go to her next class.**

Now she was gone, she had left the day after Jacob's return and I now knew about it the day after her departure. I couldn't really feel much, I felt more like a floating nothing than a solid being. I was pretty sure Carlisle was calling to me but I was too far gone to hear what he may have been saying.

_Bella..._

* * *

APOV

"Do you think I did the right thing? Changing her?" I couldn't shake the nervous feeling that was penetrating my resolve. I had seen my brother and Bella just as clearly as everyone else. They had been so close to admitting their feelings and then Jacob had shown up. Jasper had informed me of her feelings towards Edward, although they were so obvious I wanted to beat them over the head with it. I also knew she was afraid for my brother, she didn't want Jacob to hurt him. It was so twisted, the entire situation made me ache for the my brother and Bella.

I knew Jasper had been trying for most of the car ride to calm me down but this time it wasn't helping much. Jasper reached out and took my hand, glancing at me for a moment.

"I know you did what would keep our family together and that's okay. Any one of us would have done the same thing in your position. We all know how Edward and Bella feel about each other and I can honestly say they have a bond no one will break. Regrets will only eat at you, all we can do is accept it and work with Bella to help her want to live aga-" I could feel the images coming, his voice fading and there I saw Bella awake in the car with ruby red eyes, which was not what we wanted. It would be best if she was as comfortable as possible and alone with us. I heard myself gasp but it took another minute for Jaspers voice to break through my own trance.

"Alice, sweetheart, what did you see?" I could feel the calm waves he was casting over my body, I let my eyes focus on his face and sighed in relief. He truly kept me grounded through all the things I had seen over the years.

"We have to stop before we cross out of Mexico, at the safe house, or she will wake up in car. I wasn't sure we would make it all the way to Costa Rica before she woke up, now I know we wont." I looked back at Bella's still form laying in the back seat. It was suspicious looking, what with her not moving. It seemed Jasper was having the same thoughts.

"Do we have a blanket? It could look like she's sleeping and we have all her passport stuff right? Do you see any trouble with the border patrol?" I tried to see how things would turn out with the patrol but nothing concrete made it's way to the forefront of my mind.

"Going into Mexico shouldn't be a difficult thing, they have never been too picky on who enters the country. Yet I can't see anything concrete, I will only know once they make their decision. There is a blanket in the trunk, can we stop to grab it and switch places. I have to drive." Jasper nodded in agreement, with the sunshine there was no way he could stick his hand out the window and gloves didn't work well for men.

We pulled off the highway quickly, it was about four-thirty in the morning and the sun would be rising soon. We had to do the switch now or we wouldn't get another chance. Jasper parked us out in the middle of no where so after a quick check for bystanders I sprinted to the trunk, grabbed the blanket, and covered Bella up in a more sleep like manner before sliding into the drivers seat. Jasper was already in the passenger's seat ready to go.

I leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips before turning the key in the ignition and pulling back onto the road with the tires squealing. We reached the border rather quickly after that, it only took about twenty minutes, and we were pulling up to a window shortly there after.

The woman we spoke to was short and stocky but she seemed to be rather unobservant. She barely glanced at us as she reached out.

"Passports?" her voice was low, with a heavy spanish accent. I handed her all three of our passports and when she got to Bella's she looked quickly into the car, obviously annoyed with the tinted windows. In the dark interior of the car she could have been sleeping, the patrol officer grunted in acceptance, stamped our passports, handed them back to us, and asked me to pop the trunk.

I obliged quickly and after she looked through the suitcases in the back she closed the trunk and waved us on. I sighed in relief while Jasper merely watched me. He had played with the woman's emotions a bit and I was glad he had, things would have taken much longer without him.

"Will we make it to the safe house?" His voice was soft, gentle, I knew he didn't want to push me. He was way too protective of me but I had accepted that a long time ago, now I merely let it go.

"Yes, barely." I punched my foot down on the gas pedal as we sped through the dry terrain of northern Mexico.

* * *

BPOV

Forever, that was how long I had been here. It had to be, but I would not cry out. I had grown strong, my pain tolerance was rivaled by none. It was at forever in hell though that I felt something change. I wanted to sob in relief when the burning started to fade from my toes and fingers but the relief was soon eclipsed by the intensifying of the burning as it retreated through my body. I could feel my heart speeding up as I was sure the fire was burning it into a pile of ash.

I tried to focus on the fading from my extremities to stop my mouth from opening and letting out my screams. This new torture couldn't be as bad as the claws that had raked across my body when I'd been alive. The pain then had been full of blood and anger, this couldn't quite compare. I tried to slow my heart down as it worked to beat right out of my chest, the burning growing hotter and hotter around the racing organ.

It was then that I felt something cool wrapping my body around the edges, it was a quick caress though and then it was gone. I wanted to weep at the short relief from the burning that seemed to grow to impossible heat. I was sure my body should be charred and blackened by now.

I was sure my heart couldn't beat any faster when something changed, everything went still. The burning started to fade and my heart, well I couldn't feel it anymore. I waited for it to start up again but it seems the burning race had exhausted it. I was finally dead and maybe now the torture would stop.

I waited for the burning to disappear entirely but it seemed to persist in my throat of all places. It was a dull ache I wasn't sure how to quench. It was the sounds that finally distracted me from the aching I wished would go away. I could hear shallow breathing, it filled the room in an unpleasant way yet there was no heart beat. It was then that I heard soft footsteps and the switching of weight by something. I wasn't alone where ever I was.

Of course how could I have expected to be alone in hell? As I lay there with my eyes squeezed tightly closed other sounds started to filter in birds, wind, animals scurrying through the walls, though those were nothing compared to the smells.

The most powerful smells were never supposed to be smells. It was a sweet, electric, calm, yet slow buzz that invaded my senses. I felt overly calm for my current situation, I didn't understand the feeling but the smells kept coming. I could smell the dry, cracked dirt along with wet ground and the faint whiffs of something gross, and then there was the rushing. There was a warm rushing that seemed to pick at my brain, it made me think of food.

"Bella?" A voice startled me out of my revere, it was soft, musical but I didn't understand who she was talking about. Next thing I knew my eyes were wide open and I had my back to one of the walls. Sensory overload seemed to be the most logical thing but it never came, my brain was working differently now. I could see the sunlight as it streamed through the small windows above my head, the dust motes that floated around me were like rain, I could see each individual speck.

I could see where the voice came from now. I looked over the both of them then, there was a familiarity I couldn't seem to place just yet. They were both very beautiful and so pale. One was covered in scars yet it only enhanced his beauty. I looked warily between the two of them before asking my first question.

"Am I in hell?" My voice shocked me, this was not the voice I was used to. It was musical and light, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I sounded more like the girl who had spoken earlier than like me. I watched as the girls face fell, my question had made her sad, there was no doubt about that. The scarred guy merely watched me a look of intense concentration on his face. The calm increased again and I felt so odd. I tried to shake the feeling that something was very out of place as I kept my eyes on the two in front of me.

"Your not in hell Bella, your with Jasper and me, Alice. Don't you remember us?" As she spoke I could see a few fuzzy images float up in my mind, ones of the life I barely remembered anymore. I knew these two, at least I used to, back when I was with... Jacob. I could see the abuse, fuzzy and distant as it pulled to the forefront of my mind.

"Jacob..." My voice whispered of it's own accord. Again Alice looked hurt, as though I had said something upsetting. I was merely interested in what had happened to me, I hadn't meant to hurt anyone.

"Jacob left you for dead, I saved you." She replied softly, I could feel my eyes widen in shock. She had saved me, from hell, from the burning?

"You saved me from hell? From all that burning?" I could see the guilt as it flickered across her features. I was confused.

"No I saved you from Jacob and his abuse. Don't you remember Bella?" That name... _Bella_... The images came fast and furious then, my whole life laid out before me, before I had jumped and everything had gone black. Jasper smiled at me then before glancing at Alice.

"She understands who she is now. She is still confused about where she is now though." His voice was soft, soothing, and slightly amused. I glared at him for a moment and then turned my attention back to Alice.

"I know who I am but where am I, what happened after I jumped? Am I dead now?" I tried to ignore the differences in my voice, it was disconcerting. I listened and once again could not hear a heart beat within the room, there was nothing. I breathed in but there was no pulse, no rush of blood, merely the empty whistling of the air as it moved in and out of me.

"I saw you jump and I chose to save you, to change you into one of us. Your body is dead, froze at the age I've changed you at. Do you remember Edward? Your like him too, like our whole family." _Edward._ I felt a squeeze at my dead heart as the name brought out a feeling me I couldn't seem to identify. He meant something to me, when I was human and it seemed he meant something to me now.

"Where is he? Can I see him?" This request seemed to please Alice, she smiled at me before twining her fingers into Jasper's.

"We will go see him a little bit later. You need to learn how to use this new body. Do you know how you got over there?" There was amusement in her tone and a grin playing at her lips. I narrowed my eyes as I thought over the gap between laying down and ending up next to the wall.

"No." I growled, frustrated with the gap of how I managed to get over here so quickly. I looked up at Alice again, she smiled and stepped away from Jasper. I watched as she moved from one side of the room to the other in less than a second. I watched as she jumped up and flipped backward before landing lightly beside Jasper once again.

"You can do that, that's how you got over there, you flipped yourself off the table to landed by the wall. We are different from humans Bella. Our bodies are a thousand times stronger, it's like everything you could do as human is multiplied by a thousand. Your hearing, your sight, you body, and sometimes other things." Her words made sense, everything was so enhanced and new. The smells were what was confusing me.

"What is that awful smell?" I inquired. Alice laughed while Jasper merely smiled.

"That is human food, we can't eat their food. It smells awful and it tastes even worse. Would you like to go hunt for something to eat?" The mention of food seemed to make the ache in my throat flare as I recalled it's existence. I crouched low, my mind starting to slip as my body begged for something to quench the thirst, a wave of calm followed the feeling and I tried to battle the primitive feeling that was trying to take over.

"Yes." My voice sounded strained as I tried to hold myself back. Alice seemed somewhat surprised about something and Jasper just looked downright incredulous.

"She shouldn't even have the control to be standing here right now." His tone was just as incredulous as his expression. I didn't much understand what was going on. Alice stepped towards me, I felt my body react by tensing up but I fought it back and relaxed again. I didn't want to fight Alice, she was my friend, she had saved me.

She moved slowly towards me until she was standing right in front of me. I glanced at Jasper who was looking rather worried. I focused back on Alice and she reached out slowly and took my hand before tugging me towards the door.

"Come on let's go hunt." She suggested softly. I nodded, trying to fight the urges that seemed to run through my body as the idea of a meal entered my mind again. I refused to hurt Alice and I knew if I let myself go she would end up being attacked before I ran off. I could feel that calm presence continue to layer itself on me. It was helpful in keeping control over the urges.

Where ever we were it was very warm outside, though it didn't seem to have any effect on my body. I didn't sweat or feel thirsty, it was all so new. I looked around the house we had exited from only to be greeted by trees, a lot of trees. The wet ground smell increased along with the rushing as I focused on the colors of the world around me.

I watched as Alice literally vanished into the trees, Jasper wasn't far behind her. The moment I thought about joining them I felt my body respond and I was standing next to her with an exhilarated smile on my face. I liked the way I could move now, I had always been so clumsy before. Alice watched me expectantly, she seemed to want me to lead. I turned from the two of them and let my senses take over. In that moment I had never felt so free from the world around me, practically flying through the trees as my feet barely touched the ground below me.

I threw my head back and laughed before jumping up and flipping my way through the branches of the trees around me. I was finally free from the human world's previous limitations, I was powerful and I was free from the abuse. The elation was so strong I almost wanted to stop to process it all but before I could stop something caught my attention.

A smell that made my mouth water, I felt the ache flare again as my body shot off in a different direction. The hunger would not be curbed this time, I was too far gone.

* * *

**And so the new life begins! I am extremely excited for this story, I hope you all are too.**

**Thoughts? Feelings? Review! :)**


	3. Undead Eternity

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 3:**** Undead Eternity**

BPOV

Maybe I had thought this would be a better life than the last or that Alice had saved me from eternity in hell but now all I could do was curse this new body, this new strength. I reached out slowly to grab the tray Alice was holding out to me, I let me fingers graze over it as though it were a feather, and then I finally flexed to take it. I watched as my hand cracked the tray in half, again.

"God dammit! Alice that is the tenth one today. I'm sure I have broken fifty of these in three days! Fuck this!" I felt my temper flare as the tray lay abandoned at my feet. Alice merely watched me in silence. I felt like a child again, having to re-learn how to do everything that had once come so easily to me.

"Jasper." Her voice was calm, quiet, as I glared at her murderously. I felt the calm waves flow over my body as my mind fought his influence. I didn't want to be forced into complacency, I wanted to learn on my own.

"No." I growled through clenched teeth, "I can do this dammit." The calm ebbed away slowly and the anger surged forward again. I wanted to kick the tray through the wall and then throw the ever chipper Alice through that hole as well. I could feel my hands clenched tightly at my sides, my whole body was coiled like a spring but I forced my mind to wander elsewhere.

I let it wander to Forks and my old home. I watched as Jacob was replaced with a better alternative, someone who would love me. Edward's face floated into my consciousness as I felt my fingers start to relax. I thought of what it would be like to see him again, to talk to him and show him the new me. Maybe he could love me now that I was new and different. I bent down then and picked up the tray lightly before throwing it into the trash.

Alice was at my side in an instant with a huge smile on her face. She thought I was progressing wonderfully, I wasn't sure if I could quite agree with that. I felt just as annoyed with it all as I had originally.

"You didn't break it this time! I mean the halves. You are improving Bella, I know you don't think you are but I can see it. Those first few weeks were impossible and look at you now! You will be able to handle glass in no time." Her tone was excited and so supportive, I couldn't help but smile at my best friend. She had been nothing but good to me through all of the temper tantrums and frustration of inability.

"You are learning how to control yourself much quicker than any newborn I've seen." Jasper's calm baritone flowed through the small room which immediately set my mind at ease. Jasper was truly a gift from God, his ability to sooth at any given moment was the most helpful thing I had ever encountered.

"And you know Jasper has dealt with a lot of newborns." Alice chipped in with another too happy smile. I sighed and nodded, I had heard all about Jasper's past of working with newborns and I was glad he was here but it was hard when he constantly expected you to run off and try to kill someone. I wanted my own space and he wouldn't allow it yet.

"Of course you are also very different from any newborn I have ever worked with, your control of your thirst is absolutely unparalleled for a newborn. I have never heard of one with the control you exhibit." I turned to see Jasper lounging in a chair at the kitchen table with a lazy smile spreading across his face, he was the picture of ease.

"Well thank you Jasper. A compliment coming from you, I wish I would have recorded it or something. Oh wait, perfect recall." I tapped my head with a laugh and then turned back to Alice.

"So since I'm improving so rapidly can we go back to Forks? To your family?" Jasper chuckled from behind me but Alice just watched me warily. I had a tendency of flying off the handle when I was told no. Not that they blamed me, we all knew it was all the frustration I had been dealing with. I was sure I could control it this time though, I needed to be able to control it or I would never make it back home.

"Our family." Alice corrected quietly, she considered me her sister in all the ways that counted and insisted I belonged with their family now. I hadn't quite gotten used to the concept yet, I still had Charlie and Renee even if I couldn't see them for the next few years.

"Alice..." I begged her silently to at least give me an estimate. She sighed and turned away from me to grab the broom and dust pan for the particles of tray that still lay on the ground at our feet.

"Sweetie, it's only been six months since the change and we both know that you still need time. You are progressing extremely well but your not ready yet... maybe another six months to a year okay? It's not that long, you have eternity." I could see her body tense as she spoke, I had tried to attack her a fair share of times, not that Jasper wouldn't stop me in a heartbeat. He would never allow any harm to come to Alice, she was his other half, his soul mate.

I sighed but did not feel the usual surge of anger, frustration yes but the anger just wasn't there. I was tired of being angry about things I couldn't control and I knew they were only doing what was best for me. In the end I had to accept that.

"Let me, I'm the one who made the mess." My voice was soft, accepting, and Alice looked up at me in surprise before she handed me the broom and pan and went skipping to Jasper's lap with a huge grin on her face. I tried my best to ignore her excitement; I didn't want to break another broom. Alice would never tell me how much I was costing them in supplies, I don't think I wanted to know. I hated the idea that I was costing them money even though I was sure with Alice's visions they were richer than God.

I dumped the tray particles into the trash and placed the broom back into the tiny closet before stepping outside. I needed to hunt, though even that had been getting better. I hadn't been hunting in four days. When I had first started hunting I had wanted to go everyday. Alice was right, I was definitely improving, it was just hard for me to see when my improvements seemed so small for so many months having passed.

Although if I thought six months was a long time I was going to have some trouble with eternity. I lifted my hands above my head to stretch before I leapt out into the forest, I could hear Jasper and Alice's footsteps as the fell into step behind me. They kept their distance, I had turned on them too many times for them to follow me as closely as they used to.

xXx

_Six months later...._

xXx

I didn't much feel of anything on an anniversary like this one but I had to at least acknowledge it. I can't say how long I sat in that kitchen chair when Alice announced my birthday. I didn't realize that my birthday would change along with my transformation. I suppose it made sense for Alice since she doesn't remember her human life but I had just assumed it would continue to be in September.

"Bella, hey are you okay? Is it something that I said?" Alice sounded worried this time, she had been trying to get my attention for a while now. I hadn't found it in me to respond so I had chosen to ignore her pleas. I let my eyes wander this time to meet hers, she looked really worried and I immediately felt bad for ignoring her.

"Alice my birthday is in September." My voice sounded flat even to me, I tried not to flinch. I was just trying to process. After the change I had tried to forget about my previous life with Jacob and yet birthdays were another part of my past that he marred. At my last birthday Jake had phased and I had ended up hurt, I had acquired scars all down one side of my rib cage. It was still a sore subject though the scars had vanished with my transformation.

"I know sweetie but what do you say we celebrate your transformation instead? That way it can only be associated with happy memories of finally being free." She made a good point but the idea of birthdays would always be associated with Jake now, no matter what date it was on.

"Okay Alice." I agreed quietly. I had no reason not to change it, I would merely celebrate on my own for my September birthday. I certainly didn't want to forget when I was really born, there were a lot of things I didn't want to forget about my human life. They were the things that made me strong, that had changed me and made me who I am today.

She seemed to let it go then as she disappeared, presumably to hunt, and I merely sat in that same chair until she returned with Jasper a few hours later. It was dark then but I could see the concern in their eyes as they approached me. Jasper looked somewhat confused, like he didn't know what to do.

"Bella, we need to leave now. We have to move to another place, a small town." They didn't offer any explanation but I was more than willing to leave. I just couldn't seem to move from where I was. I felt so tired, though vampires couldn't sleep or be tired. Maybe the better word was worn down? I just felt like I could sit there forever and ponder how different things would be in this new life compared to my human memories.

"It's like she isn't feeling anything. There is no emotion at all that I can detect. The only time I have ever experienced this was with Edward when he found out Jacob was abusing her. He quite literally froze up and then there was nothing, not anger or sadness, nothing." I felt my body respond to the name I knew so well. _Edward_. I blinked for a moment before looking up at Alice. She seemed surprised because she stepped back when I looked up at her.

"Okay let's go." I stood fluidly before stepping outside into the cool night air. They were close behind me before Jasper took the lead and ran headlong into the forest. Neither of them commented on what had just happened. We ran for about twenty four hours, through forest, grassy plains, mountains, and desert type landscape. There was plenty to feed on as we ran but we almost never stopped. There was no need, all three of us could go about two weeks before it became absolutely necessary to feed and the trip was rather short.

I had no idea where we were going but where ever it was became very tropical until the three of us where running through the vine infested, mountainous terrain of tropical forests.

"Where are we going?" I asked as Jasper slowed to a more human running pace. He turned to looked at Alice for a moment before looking at me.

"We're in Costa Rica." He stated, his eyes shifted then to sweep the forest, I followed suit in confusion. He was very tense at that moment, we couldn't possibly have been followed by humans and I hadn't come across any distinct smell to alert us another vampire presence.

"We are coming up on the village now so try to keep the facade up, you know fidgeting and whatnot." His voice was very soft, low enough so only Alice and I would hear him. Were we really that close? I took a deep breath then, only to have my nose assaulted by one smell, human. I felt the venom pool in my mouth as I realized I had forgotten to breath, again. It wasn't necessary and although it had been normal as a human my body had quickly adapted to not breathing in order to learn how to control my thirst.

I let my throat and nose adjust to the pungent new smell as we neared the village Jasper spoke of. I could see the light of the tree's start to thin miles before we reached the open fields but once we did Jasper slowed to a walk. Alice was quick to take his hand while I merely walked on his other side. I tried to keep up that choppy gait human's tended to have but it took a lot of concentration so when I looked up I was greeted with a view of the town we were to live in.

It was rather small and nothing like the city of Phoenix, where I used to live with my mother. It reminded me of a more compact Forks in a much more tropically warm setting. I felt a flood of emotion run through me as Charlie and Renee floated into my mind. I missed them terribly and I had hoped that I would be able to see them as I was now but Alice was one hundred percent sure that was a bad idea.

I wasn't about to argue with someone who could see the future. Jasper walked us quickly through the outskirts of the town before stopping at a small house near the town square. It was quaint, small like the one we had stayed at in Mexico, and it seemed rather isolated. It looked as though it were built before any of the other houses and the town had then sprung up around it while leaving ample space for the original house.

The town seemed rather sleepy, no one was on the streets as the night deepened. We had left at just the right time since we had arrived in the darkness. If it had been sunny out we would have had to wait for the darkness to fall again. I suppose Jasper and Alice had planned it that way.

Alice brought me upstairs first to show me my room. It was quaint, like the rest of the house, nothing I couldn't live with for a little while.

"Alice why did we leave so suddenly?" I heard the question pop out of my mouth before I even realized I wanted to ask it. Everything had seemed so rushed, like they had just randomly decided to leave. Or maybe they just decided not to tell me until the day of the departure. Alice turned to look at me for a moment, as though trying to decipher how I would react to what she was gong to say.

"Well, if we hadn't left we would have had a visitor the next day and at this point we didn't want any visitors to be introduced to you yet." Her answer was slow, prepared maybe, but I felt as though something were missing from her explanation. There was something there she didn't want me to know yet. I watched her silently for a moment before I decided I would press the issue later. Alice's shoulders seemed to sag in relief.

"You know, we wont be here long. Jasper and I were thinking of going back to Forks in a few months." Her tone was excited. It seemed Alice missed the rest of her family too. They had been gone for over a year already and according to Alice, her family didn't know why she had left. They were starting to wonder, especially since neither she nor Jasper had contacted them in all that time.

"A few months? Like two months or three?" Alice grinned, it was obvious I was ready to be back under the cloud cover of home too.

"Probably closer to two." She moved past me then towards the door to go talk to Jasper but I turned around with her.

"Alice you can see the future! You know exactly when we are going to leave, you could give me an exact date you know!" She laughed at me as she opened the door.

"I could but I'm not going to!" She trilled and then she was gone, down the stairs to Jasper. I huffed in slight irritation as I plopped down on the bed to stare morosely at the ceiling. That pixie could be so annoying sometimes.

* * *

APOV

I am finding myself extremely excited to go home, even Jasper can't seem to keep me calm. It will be so wonderful to see my family again, to feel at home with them, and of course to explain my disappearance to them by introducing the new Bella. I knew Edward wouldn't be there when we arrived and I knew that we would leave before he came back. We would be headed to Denali soon after we returned home, if only for a few days. We wouldn't want to stay away too long, we'd already been gone for more than a year.

Denali was important though because that's where Eleazar lived with his mate, Carmen, along with Tanya, Irina, and Kate. Not that the rest of them matter, Tanya had always gotten on my nerves what with her obsessive behavior towards Edward, and well the others just disgusted me. Eleazar and Carmen were the only ones I truly got along with.

This time we would be there for business though. I wanted Eleazar to tell us if Bella had any talent outside of the normal vampire strengths and whatnot. Maybe she would be able to see the future like I could or maybe she would merely be a shield and keep Edward out like she did as a human. What ever it was, we needed Eleazar to help us figure out what she could or could not do.

"Alice you are looking increasing lost in that mind of yours, love." Jasper's voice broke into my thoughts as I sat quietly at the table. I jumped up to wrap my arms around him before letting go and sitting back down.

"I was just thinking about going home and Denali and all that." Jasper nodded knowingly before sitting down in another chair and pulling me into his lap. I cuddled into him happily.

"And what about Edward?" He inquired, his voice was low at my ear so Bella could not hear what he asked. I sighed in frustration, I knew the two of them would have a rough go of it but returning wasn't going to make it any easier.

"He wont be there," I replied in an equally low voice, "not until after we leave for Denali and even then their future is going to have a pretty rocky start. I have been privy to a few visions of Tanya and she is going to start pushing again. I'm not sure how she'll handle that." We both knew I was talking about Bella. Bella had never met Tanya but once she did things could get ugly between the three of them; Edward, Bella, and Tanya that is.

"Well that's not good. Are you sure we need to go to Denali so soon? Wont that just make Tanya want to visit us in Forks?" I wish it were as simple as just staying away. I would never go there if that were the case. I squirmed a bit to fit myself tighter into his arms.

"No, she already has plans to visit, our coming to see Eleazar is only icing on the cake. Her mind is made up. She wont give up until she has him, well at least that is her decision right now." And how frustrating that decision was. Tanya was going to be a major hurdle, especially since Edward and Bella had yet to be in an actual relationship. They still had to admit they cared for each other before anything concrete would happen.

The two of them and the whole skirting their feelings was annoying when I could so easily just blurt it out for the both of them but I know that would only make for disaster. I tore myself away from those thoughts then, leaving them for another day as I turned myself around in Jasper's lap until I was straddling him.

I leaned down quickly to kiss him, letting my fingers run through his hair in the process. I heard myself giggle as his hands slid up to my hips and tugged me against him none too gently. Before I realized what was happening I was being swept up the stairs to a more private room, though our lips never separated. The only noise I heard was Bella as she stepped out the front door and moved out into the forests around the town and then I was too lost in him for my mind to register anything else.

* * *

EPOV

_Six months after Bella ran away._

I had half expected her to turn up within the week begging Charlie for forgiveness. Or maybe learning through Charlie that she had ended up going to Renee's but nothing of the sort happened. For months I passed by the fliers announcing my Bella missing. I could feel my dead heart break a little more each time I saw them.

I suppose I never thought she would just up and disappear, I was sure she would at least tell me but now she was gone and I had done nothing to find her or help her. It was like when Jacob had come for her the day before her disappearance, I had let her down, let her go and now I was doing the same thing. I had promised her I would protect her, that I could protect her, and I had failed her then. I couldn't possibly let myself fail her again.

I had to find her and if she was happy I would let her be but if she needed my help I would be there for her, always. I knew any trail she may have left six months ago would be long gone by now so I would have to work by literally searching through every city. I didn't much care if it took eternity, I would find her eventually. Although I could check to see if she had left the country with her passport. Charlie had said she had taken everything with her, that included her passport didn't it?

If I knew she left the country at least I could head in that general direction, if she had stayed within the United States then my search area was significantly reduced compared to searching the entire world. I shook my head at the possibilities I was considering in that moment.

I was going to search the entirety of the United States for one person and honestly I could say I would because she wasn't just any human. Bella was my entire world and she had just walked right out of it without a word as to why or where. It was like she had never been here except I could still feel her, remember her, and every time it was like a stab to my heart realizing she wasn't here anymore.

For those first few months it had been a little like slipping back into the life I had lived before her. Though it hadn't been much of a life, merely an existence. Once she had vanished it was a bit like a part of me had died. I remember how it had been when Carlisle told me, I don't think I moved for two weeks from that spot. I had heard Esme's worry and Emmett's jokes but nothing had been strong enough to break me out of whatever trance I had slipped into.

It wasn't until I thought about going to find her that my body seemed to wake up in some sense and start moving again. Esme had been ecstatic until she found out that I was leaving, though she was glad I wanted to find Bella. I had promised her I would visit every few months and that had cheered her up as well. Ever since I broke out of that trance though it was like a part of me had died, like she had ripped out my dead heart and taken it with her. I felt crippled in ways I never thought possible and so now I chose to follow my heart to where she was hiding so I could at least keep her safe.

Even if she didn't want to be with me or see me, I would always be there to protect her. I wouldn't fail her again.

_There was no point of eternity without her.  
_

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**And so life progresses, undead life that is.**

**Reviews? Yes please! That would make me so happy! :)**


	4. Dying Is Your Latest Fashion

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight**

**Alright ya'll. I hadn't meant for this to be such a long chapter. 7,700 words! But hey maybe it will captivate ya'll and you will love it! :) I hope so.**

**Chapter 4:**** Dying Is Your Latest Fashion**

BPOV

I couldn't see much as I trudged forward. It was just a pile of color as I felt hand stop me before I ran into something, only for that same hand to place another feather light item atop the pile. I would never understand it, but at least this time I didn't have to do a thing and being tired just wasn't an option so I was the pack mule.

"Alice, remind me again why I let you drag me here?" I could see her pale figure pop into view around the pile of color in my arms. She was grinning, the excitement plain on her face.

"Because I blackmailed you with telling you the exact date we are going home." She giggled and then she was gone again, no doubt something had caught her eye. I huffed in irritation but she was right, she could pretty much get me to do anything if it meant I would figure out when we were going home. Something had changed, her footsteps had stopped as I fumed over how annoyed I was with her. I tried to peer around the pile she had amassed, to no avail.

"Bella..." Her voice was soft, panicked, and that was about when I let the clothes drop and rushed over to my best friend. Her knuckles were white on the rack as she held herself up, her eyes were glazed over and I knew she was having a vision of some kind. Of course Jasper would skip out when I needed him the most. I didn't know how to help her. I reached out to lean her against me, I didn't want to have to explain to the store manager why she was able to rip off a chunk of metal rack.

I let my hand rub soothing circles into her back, it reminded me of how my mom used to do that when I was sick as a little kid. It wasn't quite the same thing but I didn't have the ability to influence her emotions any other way. I circled slowly as I watched her while keeping my ears and eyes open for curious bystanders. It seemed we were safe from that, at least for now.

"Alice? Sweetie?" As I spoke she collapsed unceremoniously into my arms and I thought briefly about picking her up and carrying her home but before I could do so she was picking herself up. She shook her head slightly as though she was confused and then she turned to me with a sigh.

"I'm sorry I didn't meant to frighten you. I know your not used to dealing with my visions without Jasper around. Normally they aren't so debilitating but it was important this time, my body reacted to the strength of it. I wanted to be annoyed with her again, she wasn't giving me any insight into what she saw. She was rambling, quite possibly to avoid telling me what she had seen.

"Alice, I'm not five anymore. Why do you insist on hiding everything from me. And don't even try to deny it! You and Jasper are the same way, everything is one big freaking secret!" I turned on my heel and decided to go hunting on my way back to the small town we were living in. I couldn't deal with their secrets anymore. I was not a child and I was not pleased with being treated like one.

"Wait, wait! Bella please just listen? If I tell you will you please wait?" She couldn't move much faster than I was or it would look unnatural and we were already getting stares as we argued. I huffed again but stopped abruptly and whirled on Alice's surprised face. She hadn't expected me to stop, I wanted to laugh at her expression.

"Five minutes." I stated as I folded my arms and glared at her. She took a step back to give us both a bit of room. I just kept glaring while she seemed to fidget under my gaze, of course it was only habit. We didn't need to fidget, it felt weird to do those kinds of things, the human things.

"Well if you want to know everything then it's going to take longer than that and I prefer we don't discuss this here." Her tone was soft, defeated, but I wasn't ready to feel guilt for my behavior yet.

"Five minutes for the vision, we will go from there." My words were cold and clipped, I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked at me. I felt the pang of guilt run through me but I kept my face in a carefully composed mask of indifference at her pain.

"Okay..." She whispered and hung her head. The guilt thrummed further but I kept the mask up.

"I have been keeping tabs on a few other people. Mostly my family, Tanya, and the Volturi, whom you know nothing about yet. My vision was concerning Rose, Rosalie, you remember her right?" She didn't wait for me to answer, "Well she is coming to find Jasper and I because she is worried about Edward. He has been traveling for about six months and he wont answer calls or visit. Actually it's extremely similar to what Jasper and I are doing but anyway, she is trying to decide if she wants to come find us or not." I felt the confusion run through me then. Alice wasn't making any sense, what did this have to do with anything? Did it matter if Rose came here?

"Why can't we see her?"She looked up surprised again, probably since I was actually reacting with something other than anger. My mask had crumbled into confusion. Her surprise didn't last long though, she looked very tired in the next moment. Like there was too much to keep track of and not enough time. I reached out with one hand to touch her arm gently and she looked back up at me.

"Alice what's wrong?" My confusion had morphed again, this time into worry for my friend.

"No one knows about you but Jasper and myself. They think you ran away but they don't know you jumped. No one but Jacob, Jasper, and myself know that and Jacob thinks your dead." She whispered almost too low for my already sensitive ears to catch. I froze where I was. None of them knew that I jumped, that I tried to kill myself, and they were all still looking for me. Did that mean I could see Charlie and Renee again some time soon?

"Wait. What does that have to do with Rosalie?" She sighed softly and turned to start back towards the pile of clothes that I had dumped on the floor. I trailed behind slowly, trying to ignore the stares we were getting.

"Well she isn't too happy with you right now and I know she wont be pleased with me if she finds out this way so I don't want her to come find us just now. Yet they only way to keep her at bay is to go to Forks and explain it all to my family. They are going to have to know what I did and I'm not sure how they are going to take it." She didn't look at me again, she merely continued to pick up the clothes I had dumped and once she had gotten them all she moved into a dressing room with me in tow.

"Alice you saved my life and I'm finally free from Jacob. How could they think anything but good of you when we return? Wait. Why is she unhappy with me?" Alice tugged off my shirt quickly only to replace it with another one and shook her head. Apparently it wasn't my style or something. She reached down for another shirt, navy blue in color, and tugged it on. She seemed to agree with that one and hung it back up before placing it on the hook behind my head.

"I don't know what they'll think Bella. I just don't want them to be upset with me or I just... What if I made the wrong choice? None of us ever had the choice when we were changed and we knew we would never do this to another human being but now I've done it to you against your will." I had a strange urge to shake her. Didn't she understand how much she has changed my whole life. I could live in a happier place now and I wouldn't have to be haunted by Jacob anymore. The abuse was done, never to occur again and I was so glad to be alive. Death was a way out but it wouldn't have been my first choice if I had know their were other choices. I had been so desperate at the time, I hadn't known what else to do.

"I don't care what they think. You gave me a second chance to live my life free of the abuse. I was desperate for anything and death seemed the only option. Alice doesn't my opinion count at all?" I kept my voice low, I didn't much like talking about my suicide choice but apparently I had gotten my point across.

"Yes, it really does. Thank you Bella. I really needed that." The rest of our shopping trip was quiet. I didn't really want to know much else, I didn't want to be angry with Alice. I wanted her to know that she did the right thing by changing me. I hoped she would see that some day soon and I hope her family understood as well.

We took a taxi to the outskirts of San Jose and ran home from there. Jasper was there when we returned and his eyes furrowed in worry as he took in our emotions, most likely his worry was over Alice. He stood and wrapped her in his arms while I tried not to feel awkward or intrusive. It was difficult at times, living with soul mates. They tried to keep it to a minimum around me but it was impossible to avoid it, especially with these senses.

"Alice what happened?" Jasper's voice broke into my thoughts in it's calm waves and I lifted my eyes to watch them again. Alice pulled out of his arms then and plopped down into one of the two chairs at the table. Jasper didn't move, he merely looked between the two of us and settled his gaze back on Alice again.

"I had a vision while we were shopping and well I told Bella about it. It was about Rose. We have to go home or she will come looking for us here and you know we can't have them find her like that." I wanted to thank Alice for not hinting or hiding anything in front of me. It was nice to be in the loop for once and I hoped she would stop trying to keep things from me. Jasper nodded in agreement with her travel plans and turned to look at me.

"Did you want to pack your things and we will leave tonight?" I thought about it for a moment and looked over at Alice before responding.

"Sure. Alice is there anything else we need to discuss?" That got Jasper's attention and his eyes widened as he looked back at Alice. She didn't break my gaze, she didn't move an inch.

"No. We can discuss how to introduce you while we are traveling." I smiled at her and moved upstairs to pack my things. Jasper didn't even try to keep his voice low as he questioned Alice as to why she was telling me about what they were planning.

"Jasper she has a right to know. I have taken enough of her will away, I think she should have a say now. It's been over a year, let's see how she does." He didn't argue with her, though I was sure he wasn't pleased with the development. He didn't trust me yet, which made sense, considering Jasper's history with newborns. Yet I wanted to earn his trust and at some point he was going to have to let me do that.

* * *

APOV

"Alice why did we leave the car at the other house?" Bella's voice carried to me as we ran silently through the dense forest that climbed the mountains around us. She had yet to address Jasper directly since he had questioned our telling her our plans and whatnot. She was upset, that much was obvious, she wished he trusted her. I sped up slightly to catch up to Bella.

"If we brought it with us we would have to cross the border through a checkpoint and stamp our passports. When they stamp your passports they make sure the government knows who is coming in and out of the country. If we were to be tracked someone could narrow down their search to any given country depending on where your passport has been." Bella looked over at me, her expression incredulous.

"Who has time to search an entire country for someone?" She kept her voice low, almost as though she didn't want Jasper to hear what we discussing. I sighed softly. I didn't much like that she couldn't trust Jasper. It was like being pulled in two directions at the same time. I didn't want to hurt either of their feelings but I couldn't force them to trust each other.

"You'd be surprised." I mumbled before dropping back again. I wasn't ready to explain to her my brothers current activities. I wasn't sure he would appreciate it if Bella found out he was tracking her.

xXx

As night fell on the following day we were nearing our car and previous safe house. It seemed Bella was speeding up, eager to get home no doubt. I couldn't quite bring myself to feel that elation though. Something was tugging hard at my brain, as though I was neglecting something. It wasn't until I flew past Bella, almost crashing into her, as she froze that it jumped to the forefront of my brain. I turned back to see if she could smell it too, although I wasn't sure how she wouldn't be able to smell it.

"Bella? Something wrong?" She took a deep breath as I walked up and her eyes were closed. Of course she had noticed, he was her other half, that wasn't something that slipped past you unnoticed. I reached out slowly to touch her but she stepped back.

"Hold on." She whispered as she took another deep breath. Jasper was walking towards us then. He had been running a bit farther away from us to hunt before we started the drive. He took in the scene before him as recognition flitted across his features. He could smell it too and all we could hope for was that she wouldn't quite realize what it meant.

"It's like lilac and sunshine with an almost honey scent. I think I've smelled it before I just can't think of where. It smells so wonderful." She whispered as she breathed in again. This time she opened her eyes to gaze at Jasper and I. Her irises were large, almost dilated as she continued to take in the scent Jasper and I knew only too well. I tried not breathe a sigh of relief as she tried to unsuccessfully place where she knew the scent. Her human memories were faded and dull, like her human senses had been, which helped.

"Bella we have to leave soon." Jasper reminded her gently as her eyes slid closed again. I reached out again but this time she didn't try to stop me from grabbing her. I tugged gently and we were moving, albeit slowly, towards the house as she continued to breathe deep unnecessary breaths. As I knew it would the scent increased exponentially as we reached the house. It seemed Edward had been living there for a little while, no doubt waiting for Jasper and I to return so he could ask for my help.

"Is this from the person who visited after we left?" Bella hadn't opened her eyes to question us but I didn't much feel like lying, at least not a lot.

"Yes." I replied before pulling her slowly towards the car, Jasper was already in the front seat with the keys in the ignition. I pushed her lightly into the back seat before picking up her things and throwing them in the trunk.

"Well why didn't we stay to meet them again? Whoever it was smelled divine... I may be in love through scent alone." Her words were whispered but the reverence was clear. It didn't surprise me though. Knowing your soul mate as a human was one thing but if you knew them as a vampire it changed everything. You start to see just how absolutely they were made for you and you alone. When Jasper had first entered that diner, though I had known he would at some point, I had known before I had even turned to see him that he was there. I could tell by the way he smelled, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was actually quite incredible. Carlisle, of course, loved to study those kinds of things about our species.

"Bella we need to talk about how we are going to introduce you to the family, our family." I changed topics then, hoping it would distract her from Edward's scent, which clung to the car, as we drove through Mexico. She opened her eyes and her breathing returned back to normal, she looked a bit embarrassed and I had the sudden urge to laugh though I worked to suppress it.

"Right well what did you have in mind?" I turned myself around from the front seat to lean against the dashboard. I watched her curious gaze for a moment before smiling.

"I though Jasper could go in first while we wait near the center of town. He can keep them calm and tell them that I will be there in about ten minutes with a guest. Then I suppose we would show up and try to explain before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusions." My eyes flickered to Jasper but he was smiling. I leaned over towards him to kiss him and then moved back to my original position.

"Alice... am I going to have to tell them that I jumped?" Her tone was hesitating and fearful. She didn't want to have to tell anyone that she had jumped and I could see why. It was a difficult thing to talk about, suicide. I could feel myself fidget out of my human charade habits and then I stilled as I met her gaze again.

"It would make more sense if you did. If not then there would have been no reason for me to take you away and change you. You know, they will understand. If you want we can just meet Esme first, she did the same thing you know? She jumped and Carlisle found her in the morgue, she was still alive, but barely." Bella's eyes widened at the thought of Esme jumping off a cliff the way she had. She seemed to be trying to compare her dull human memories of Esme to jumping in that kind of desperation.

"She would be more than understanding, believe me. She already loves you like a daughter, she considered you family the first day she met you." I smiled as the memories flooded my mind of the first day Bella had visited after Jacob's disappearance. When she had left to go home Esme had danced around the house singing for the rest of the night and the morning the next day. Her joy had been palpable throughout the house.

"I can do it. I mean with everyone, I will give it my best shot to do it calmly." I focused back on Bella as she pulled me out of my memories and smiled at her. I would be there for her through it all and she knew that. I would not leave her to face any of it alone.

As we passed through the border again and had our passports stamped I couldn't help but grin and bounce slightly at the thought of being that much closer to my home. I missed my family, we all missed Forks, which is something you would never really think to say but I was saying it now. We had been gone for almost a year and half, which was too long in my opinion but I knew we had to be gone that long for Bella's sake.

"Will Edward be there?" Bella's voice cut through the car as we drove through northern California. I let myself relax back into a more meditative state before answering.

"No, not right away. He is traveling right now but he will be back when we get back from Eleazar's." I could hear her shift slightly as I fought the urge to observe her reaction. Her mouth was at my ear then.

"Do we have to go see Eleazar now? Is it that important? I mean can't we wait for Edward to come back?" I shrugged my shoulders and turned my head to face her before opening my eyes. Her expression was open and curious.

"I suppose if you really want to wait, it isn't something that needs to be done immediately. We could wait for Edward but let us see how you feel once we get there alright?" She nodded enthusiastically and disappeared into the back seat again. It wasn't until we reached Port Angeles that Bella started to commit to her frozen state. I turned back to her again and as I took in her frozen form I quickly crawled back there with her.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's going to be okay you know? I can see it. You are going to be fine." She didn't move from her posture as I wrapped my arms around her stiff body and squeezed tightly. No reaction. I let go after a moment before slipping my arm through hers and I leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"I'm going to stand with you the entire time. You wont ever be alone and I wont leave your side until you say it's okay that I do so." She blinked, her eyes slowly focusing on me as I moved into her line of sight. I placed one had on the pale skin of her cheek before she finally leaned into my touch and took her first breath in at least two hours. Not that she needed it but it was good for her to do to keep her calm.

"I'm going to park the car at the grocery store okay and you guys will be there in ten minutes right?" Jasper turned slightly to meet my gaze in the rearview mirror with one eyebrow lifted. I nodded and then tugged Bella towards the front seat once Jasper had parked and exited the vehicle. When she finally got the idea and moved to sit in the passenger's seat I slid into the driver's seat and took her hand.

* * *

BPOV

Time works in annoying ways if I'm being completely honest. I spent a year and half wishing that it would speed up and I could go home already. Then I found myself parked at a grocery store I knew all too well and time would not slow back down. Be careful what you wish for right? I knew Alice would be there for me, all the way through, but I couldn't help the fear and doubt that twisted up my spine and held me ridged as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

I couldn't decide how I felt about Edward not being there. On one side I felt as though the pressure would be much less if I didn't have to see him and explain to him right away what had happened and yet I knew his presence would have the power to comfort. He had been my best friend, a best friend I was in love with, before Jake had come back and taken me away.

I knew now that he could have protected me from Jake if I had trusted his words when he had promised he would never let Jake hurt me again. At the time though I had been so lost and confused, once I had found out what Jake was I had been sure Edward wouldn't be able to stop Jake any more than I could.

It had been so liberating to finally be out from under Jake's constant watch when he ran off. As the months slipped by I had thought that maybe Jake wouldn't come back and I could finally tell Edward how I felt without endangering him. It was that day when Jake decided to shove his way back into my life and I watched as he dragged me away from the person I was truly in love with.

I had known then that I could not live with Jake and I could not live without Edward. Yet I could not allow him to be endangered so the desperation had kicked in and I had finally found the nerve to jump. I had been sure it would put everyone out of their misery, most of all it would keep Edward safe and I would be far out of Jake's reach.

"Bella. We're here sweetheart." I felt my head turn to look at Alice in surprise. My thoughts had taken over and now we were here. My time was up and I hadn't prepared for anything.

Alice had parked in the garage, no doubt to keep those in the house from seeing me before I was ready for them to see me. I tried to take a deep breath but nothing happened and then Alice was holding both sides of my face while gauging my calm level.

"Jasper." My voice sounded strangled and tense even to me. I winced and then their was a blur of movement before Jasper was opening the passenger door. He pulled me out slowly and I could feel the overwhelming calm start to flow through me. My mind was still whirling but my body was no longer out of my control. I smiled weakly at my savior as he led me towards the garage door before stopping at the threshold.

"Are you ready?" He inquired calmly while Alice took her place in front of the two of us. I could barely get my head to nod before we were stepping out onto the lawn and moving towards the front door. It loomed before me just as I remembered from my human days, though it was much clearer now. I heard faintly as Jasper whispered to me that they had all promised to stay away from the windows.

It didn't much matter what they had been told to do, my mind was too far gone to care. My stress level was almost unbearable as Alice reached, it seemed in slow motion, for the door handle. I cringed as the door swung open slowly to reveal the well lit house I had visited so many times before.

Alice practically danced in as she rushed to greet her family. She hadn't seen them in so long. I wished I could feel as excited but this was not Charlie and I could feel the fear lacing ridged up my back again as I remembered what I would have to tell them tonight. Jasper seemed to forcing calm in my direction and the guilt started to override every other emotion as the room silenced.

The fear faded a bit as my mind showed me the trouble I was causing for Jasper. He looked like he was physically in pain and I sighed as he looked over in confusion. He couldn't understand my change in emotion.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I don't want to hurt you. Deep breaths, I'm trying." I whispered. He smiled and then turned back to the room, the pained look was gone so I suppose my efforts were working. I turned slowly, willing someone to say something. Alice bounded over then and grabbed my hand before turning back to her family.

"Guys, you remember Bella. She's back now and she's going to stay with us." I think Esme was the first to have any kind of reaction which I was glad for because her reaction was to run up to me and hug me. I felt my body go ridged again as her arms surrounded me but I relaxed as she leaned into me and spoke.

"Welcome home, Bella." Her voice was gently and motherly, she had me instantly calm and I grinned as she pulled away.

"Thank you Esme." I felt a bit more confident as my eyes wandered to the rest of the family. Since Esme had moved it seemed the rest of them had stepped closer. Emmett was the next one to step up to me as Esme stepped back further towards Carlisle.

"Alice you shouldn't have! A new baby sister!" He picked me up then and whirled me around before setting be back down and patting me on the head. I reached up then and grabbed his hand before he could move it out of the way. I twisted quickly and, to Emmett's surprise, he was laying on his back on the ground.

"It's nice to see you again too Emmett but I'm not five so please don't treat me as such." His eyes grew wide for a moment and then he was laughing his loud, boisterous, laugh as he rolled around on the floor.

"Aw! Life is always so much more interesting with you around Bella!" He chuckled again as he picked himself up off the floor and stepped away. Alice grabbed hold of my hand again and I smiled at her as she watched me.

"We want to explain our absence and our silence towards all of you over the past year." Alice chirped as she skipped forward with me in tow. She sat me down quickly on one of the white couches and plopped down right next to me while the rest of the Cullen's moved to sit down around us.

"You don't have to do this right as you walk in the door Alice." Carlisle cut her off before she could continue. He reached down to hug her and welcome her home before sitting on another couch with Esme.

"Actually I think we do. You should know and I need all of you to know." My voice, my words, came out of no where as my eyes widened in shock. I hadn't meant to say that... or had I? I couldn't be sure, but it was out now and no matter how much I wanted to deny it the words were true. I needed to get this off my chest and have them know what I'd done and why it now had to affect them.

"You all know Jake and you all know he is a shapeshifter." Rosalie almost growled at his name while the rest frowned and narrowed their eyes. None of them were pleased with Jacob Black. I felt the nerves start to come back up and Jasper helped me calm my body at least.

"You probably are also aware that Jake used to beat me, abuse me, when we were together." This had Rosalie actually growling while Emmett held her down in the chair. She was furious about this, more so then the rest of them. It seems she hadn't known about it or she couldn't handle what I was saying.

"Well when Jake came back for me I knew for one that I could not continue to be with Jake and at the time I refused to put any of you in danger by leaving him. At the time I was unaware of how well Edward could actually protect me and I could not put him in danger. So when Jake took me away that day at school I managed to get away the next day and when he came to find me I was standing on the edge of the gorge. I jumped off, sure that it was the only way to get away from Jake and protect Edward." I glanced over at Esme and I knew if she could cry she would be bawling. Alice squeezed my hand when I hesitated and I took a deep breath before continuing with my story.

"I was sure I had died. As I tumbled through the flooded river I hit a rock which knocked me unconscious. The next thing I knew I was burning, I was sure I had been sent to hell for what I'd done. I knew I deserved hell for all the pain I'd caused and so I let myself burn and when I woke up I was in Mexico with Alice and Jasper." I turned to Alice, unable to watch Esme any longer as she struggled with her own demons.

"I saw her jump." Esme head whipped up while Rosalie finally calmed down enough that Emmett could wrap an arm around her in comfort. Alice met my gaze as she spoke.

"I knew that if I let her die it would destroy our family and so I chose to save her in the only way I knew how. I watched them as she jumped and he turned away in indifference. She would not have survived the fall human. I caught her as she lay unconscious against the rock she had hit and once I found a safe place that was close to the river, I bit her. I did not drink her blood but I had to change her or everything would have been lost. I saw it, if she wasn't changed, if she had died.." Alice trailed off as the overwhelming sadness took over in her eyes. It made me want to look away in shame at what I had thought was best for everyone.

"I had told Jasper we were leaving for a while and sent him to tell you because if Edward had seen me he would have known what had happened to Bella. I couldn't show him, it would have destroyed him so I left and Jasper met me outside of Seattle. We drove down to Mexico, where we had to stop or she would have woken up in the car. So that is why we would not contact you or answer your calls. I couldn't let you find out like that, just finding her one day with us and drawing your own conclusions as to what happened. I didn't want to hurt any of you but I couldn't let her die." She hung her head then and I leaned over to lift her chin up.

"I am extremely grateful for what Alice did for me. I know she feels guilty and we have talked about her feeling guilty but I need you all to know that Alice has given me a second chance at life. A life free of the abuse and the hurt where I am strong and independent. I will be eternally grateful to Alice for that. She has given me the chance to make things right." She lifted her eyes to meet mine then with a big smile as she threw her arms around me almost knocking me off the couch.

Esme giggled while Carlisle just smiled at the both of us. Rosalie still looked somewhat upset but she seemed pleased to know what happened, as did everyone else.

"Welcome home, Bella." Carlisle warm voice floated to me and I looked up at him while Alice jumped up to hug him too. Rosalie finally met my gaze in that moment and smiled. It was the first smile I had ever seen her shoot my way and I was grateful for it. I smiled back just as there was a knock of the door. Carlisle looked at his watch in confusion and glance at the door before standing to answer it.

"Carlisle!" A high female voice crooned as pale arms were flung around his neck. I couldn't quite see who it was that had decided to visit but the smell was sickly sweet, like cotton candy. I wrinkled my nose and Alice's expression turned sour which pretty much set up my impression before I'd even met whoever was there. It took a lot for Alice not to like someone. The arms retracted back to where ever they'd come from.

"Tanya. Come in." Carlisle stepped away from the door and gestured her in before shutting it again. The leggy blond that walked in was not quite what I had been expecting although the cotton candy smell fit the image perfectly. She was primped and painted as she strutted her way through the doorway. She should have been on a runway looking as she did but her outfit may have been better suited for a lingerie shoot.

"Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Esme." She spoke curtly, as though she had been things to do with her time then be here. Hadn't Alice said she had been watching Tanya? Now would be a good time to know why.

"And you are?" Her voice was disdainful as she glanced down at me. I didn't hold out my hand, nor did I make any move to stand, this woman, whoever she was, irked me.

"That would be none of your business. Not sure why you would care who I am anyway, what with the holier than thou attitude."I stood then and moved upstairs with Alice and a slew of chuckles and huffs following us. I didn't want to deal with this Tanya character, especially not with her attitude. She wasn't worth the fight she'd cause if I hung around her for too long. I wouldn't want to break that too pretty neck of hers. Alice took the lead then as she pulled me into a bedroom that was conservatively decorated but seemed comfortable enough.

"This is the room for Jasper and myself. I mean we can't sleep but I have a lot of clothes so we keep all of our things here." Her voice lowered even more as she leaned towards me, "Okay so that was the coolest thing I have ever seen any one do. No one ever tries to stand up to that bitch, she drives us all crazy and we are all way too polite to say a word." I grinned before throwing myself on the bed. Alice laid down a moment later.

"Honestly if I had to hang around her for any substantial period of time I'd probably kick her ass." I whispered back with a smirk. Alice laughed and high fived me. She sat up then and moved to lean against the head board, which interestingly enough had long scratches all over it. My mind worked to come up with why those may have been there but as soon as I realized I turned away and tried to ignore what I had just discovered.

"I'm sorry I forgot to tell you about Tanya. You should know though, she's been trying to get with Edward ever since we met the Denali clan and she is here to claim him. She has decided not to leave until he agrees to be with her." I felt the familiar pang of want as she spoke of her brother and then a realization.

"Wait. Alice." I took a deep breath and exhaled before breathing in again, "Lilac, sun, and honey.... ALICE! That was Edward's scent, I'd know it anywhere!! He was in Mexico?!" I tried to keep my voice low, enough so that those downstairs couldn't hear us. Her eyes widened as she took in my expression. I wasn't to pleased with this discovery.

"That is who we ran from?!" She swallowed compulsively though she had no need to. I growled in frustration before throwing myself back on the bed.

"I'm sorry Bella but the same goes for the entire family. They couldn't know until we got here. We had to leave when he came looking for me." I sat up then and she didn't look upset or worried just a little smug.

"Why do you look so smug?" I inquired as my frustration continued to gnaw at me. How could I not have known? Then it dawned on me, Alice was pleased with my reaction regarding Edward. I growled quietly before launching myself at her and knocking her to the ground.

"Dammit Bella can't you make the decision to do that before you do it? I mean hell it would make life much easier for me." She picked herself up from the floor quickly and sat back down on the bed. I glared at her for a moment before giving up and sitting back down opposite of her. We were silent for a time, listening to the polite conversation that was going on downstairs between Carlisle, Esme, and Tanya. It seemed that Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett had bailed as well.

I felt Alice freeze up beside me for a moment and then Jasper was at her side, touching her and sending small doses of calm through her as the vision flickered through her. As she came out of it she smiled up at Jasper and then turned to me.

"Edward has decided to come home early. He will be here tomorrow and Eleazar is coming to visit since Tanya has decided to stay for a while. Which of course means we will get to find out about your gift without traveling to him." She smiled again and then leaned back against the headboard while Jasper moved to sit in the chair by the door.

"Edward?" I whispered. I felt the warmth tingle again as my whole body reacted to her words and his name. I was finally going to see him again and then the nerves stepped in with a vengeance. Would he even see me as I do him? We had been friends for so long and he had never acted as more than a friend should. I shook my head slightly and stood.

"Alice do I have a room?" She smiled, her eyes mischievous as she responded.

"Why yes. Third floor, last door." I looked at her doubtfully as she tried her hardest to look innocent. I moved my gaze to Jasper who, of course, was completely stoic, no emotion. I sighed and nodded my head in agreement. I ran up the stairs lightly but opened the door slowly so nothing would pop out. I mean Alice was someone who would do things like that.

The room smelled like Edward and only Edward. Though I refused to study the room I knew it was his as I climbed up onto the bed and curled up in the middle. I couldn't sleep but I needed to think and I worked to block out all the other voices as my thoughts drifted to the one person that matter more than anything else in all of this. Edward.

* * *

EPOV

"You need to come home." Her voice was sweet like caramel but her words were serious as I moved through the small mexican safe house that had once been inhabited by Alice and Jasper. I knew they had been here and left, seeing as the car was now missing. They weren't alone either, though the smell was familiar it wasn't one I recognized entirely.

"You really need me home?" I inquired as I continued to search the house for some kind of clue as to why they came and left so quickly. Alice was really starting to bug me. If she didn't want to be found you could not find her. What I couldn't understand was why she didn't want me to find her. The scent indicated that they hadn't even gone in the house when they returned for the car but it was better safe than sorry with Alice involved.

"Please Edward. Yes I need you here. You can leave in a few days if you think its necessary at that point. You don't have to stay long if you don't want to." Her tone was pleading and I knew I would give in to her wishes. What was the harm if I didn't have to stay long? I would find Bella soon and everything would be okay.

"Okay mom. I will be there tomorrow, late." I sighed as she hung up with an I love you and I pocketed my phone before deciding there was nothing here and I now had to head back home as it was. It would take me from now until evening tomorrow anyway since I had to run home, especially if it was sunny out tomorrow.

I took a deep breath of the familiar yet unfamiliar scent, just incase I ran into it again, and then took off towards the U.S./Mexico border and Forks, Washington.

* * *

**And so eternity trickles onward!! :) Woot!**

**Reviews? Please, please, please, and thank you! hehe**


	5. Dead and Gone

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 5:**** Dead and Gone**

BPOV

I watched the sun rise in the morning, one of the few sunny days we have in Forks during a years time. I moved into it's warm light and found myself fascinated by the reflection of the light from my skin to the walls of Edward's room. I hadn't had one interruption since my own outburst towards Tanya, though I was surprised that Alice was keeping her distance.

I could hear her as she sat with Esme and talked with her about what had gone on in the last year while we had been traveling. It was obvious how hard it had been on both of them to be apart for so long but Alice had done what she thought was necessary and I was grateful for what she sacrificed for me.

Tanya, fortunately for me, had decided to take the day and go hunting with Rose and Emmett. I felt sorry for Rosalie, having to deal with Tanya's attitude for the day, but at least Emmett would be able to provide a little comic relief between the two of them. Of course it would make for a rather quiet day on my end and I wasn't sure how good that would be for me, considering how nervous I was.

I was glad Alice had sent me to Edward's room though. His scent was like a calming device now that it was so strongly burned into my mind. This was probably the most important reason I had yet to leave his room, though it was after noon now. I would probably spend the rest of the day in his room to keep myself calm.

There was a soft knock on the door then as I tried to focus on something besides the bright shimmers that my skin reflected. I realized that I had heard Alice coming before she had knocked but I had been so distracted with my thoughts that I was mildly surprised by her arrival. I turned slowly towards the door, keeping my back in the sunshine.

"Yes, Alice?" My tone was conversational as she popped her head inside the door with a wide smile on her small features. I was instantly cautious of what she could possibly want. I smiled back at her and she quickly bounced into the room to sit in front of me.

"Hey, how was your night?" Her smiled never waned as she watched me intently for any reaction I may have displayed. I kept my expression blank, unresponsive, just to keep her guessing. Though, with Alice, not much was a guess. She, most likely, already knew how I would react.

"Thanks for sending me here, Alice." I laughed quietly as she threw her arms around me and squealed. Apparently my reaction was not the one she had been expecting, though I had been grateful for her actions all along. I extracted myself rather quickly from her embrace though, I was still extremely nervous for the sun to set.

"What are you going to wear tonight?" She inquired as I pulled away. I put on my best martyrs face and sighed dramatically.

"I don't know Alice but I'll just bet you have something picked out!" She didn't laugh at my antics but she was grinning again, and perfectly serious, as she dragged me through the house towards her room.

"Absolutely! I knew you would need something so I picked out a few outfits. Edward wont be able to keep his eyes off you the entire night." If I could have blushed in this body I would have been bright red at her words as I hit her playfully. I hated playing dress up with Alice and yet I would now become her dress up doll in the name of having the right outfit for Edward. I had taken a dive off the deep end, right into Alice's crazy world.

"Close your eyes. Your not allowed to see them until they are on you." Alice ordered, standing protectively in front of her closet. I held back my laughter at her antics and slid my eyes closed obediently. I could smell the different types of material as she pulled them out of the closet and I immediately regretted my decision to let her dress me. There was an awful amount of silk and lace in a few of the things she had pulled out.

I waited patiently as she dressed me in the first outfit and spun me to face the mirror.

"Okay, now take a look. I mean really look and if you really don't like it I have about five more to choose from." I let my eyes open slowly, so I could take it in piece by piece and control my reaction to a certain degree. I didn't like to hurt Alice's feelings. The entire outfit she had dressed me in was surprisingly modest for Alice and could be considered more my style than hers. I kept my eyes low as I took in white wedge sandals that were partially covered by a very tight pair of faded jeans which accented the small amount of curves my body had. Hanging over my jeans was a longer shirt, a fashion trend now-a-days, that was a dark shade of green. It flowed loosely down my front and tightened slightly at bottom. It was a beautiful color, though it dipped lower than I was used to and my cleavage was poking out a bit to say hello.

"So what do you think? These bracelets would complete the outfit. It's simple but sexy and perfect for you. Of course I have oth-" I clamped a hand over Alice's mouth to shut her up as I tried to decide if I wanted to see anymore of Alice's outfits or if I should settle on the first one she showed me.

"I like it a lot Alice. I mean I don't usually wear stuff like this but it's elegant and classy. Maybe I could skip the rest and just wear this one?" I was sure her face would be stuck in a permanent grin at this rate. She nodded profusely, as though unable to express her agreement with words. I tried to refuse the bracelets she was forcing onto my hand but she was persistent and once they were there I didn't bother taking them off.

"He will be here in four hours and 3 minutes." Alice whispered and then ducked as my hand went right through where her head had been moments before. She chuckled before ducking quickly out of the room to where Jasper was watching the news in the living room. I didn't bother attempting to catch her. I thought, momentarily, about taking off the bracelets but they did go well with what I was wearing and I knew Alice would find a way to get them on me again eventually.

I walked, at a human pace, back to Edward's room to sit cross-legged in the sun once more until it began to set and my nerves had me up and pacing once again. I had managed to keep my mind distracted for most of the day, shoving thoughts of what was about to transpire into the dark recesses of my mind and focusing on the sun or the sounds of wildlife as it scurried through the trees around the house. I was left now, with the sun gone, wearing a hole in his carpet with my furious pacing before I decided to move downstairs and find something to occupy me.

There was nothing particularly interesting within the downstairs floors and as I walked I found myself exiting the house into the dimly lit backyard that I had been staring at from Edward's room earlier. I felt no need to move quickly yet my human pace did not feel slow or annoying. It merely helped me slow my racing mind to a more normal pace as I walked.

There wasn't much to divert my attention but I found myself gravitating towards the small swinging bench within one darkened corner of the lawn. I didn't have to work very hard for the movements and voices of the house to fade and for my hearing to focus on the darker stirrings of the nature around me. I let my mind categorize the different sounds and what they may have originated from as I swung quietly on the bench.

"Bella?" My eyes turned quickly towards the motherly voice that called to me. Her pale form moved slowly across the lawn, her caramel colored hair waving beautifully around her features. She waited as I stopped the swing before sitting down beside me and starting up the movements again. I tried to smile, to look confident and excited just as I knew she was for her son's return.

"Sitting out here all alone isn't going to make the nerves go away. Would you mind some company?" Esme inquired, her voice low and gentle as she watched my expression. I felt the mask slip as I gave up on trying to hide from her. I smiled briefly, hoping she would understand that I was okay with her keeping me company.

"If you keep avoiding what your feeling right now, those emotions could take you by surprise when he does get here. It will be similar to the desperation we both experienced in jumping. All those feelings, so tightly wound and held down will only bring you right back to another drastic decision." I tried not to flinch at her mention of my attempt at death. Esme, of all the Cullen's understood what had happened to me. She knew what it was like to feel the need to escape it all as permanently as possible.

"I don't know how I feel. Nervous, excited, but there is something there I can't identify that wont just go away. I... don't know..." I tried to explain what was going through me in that moment but it was too far out of reach, I couldn't identify it and that frustrated me. Esme wrapped her arms around me briefly before standing to return to the house. I stood beside her and we walked side by side in silence to the house.

I sat down on one of the smaller white couches in the living room while Alice chattered away from where she sat with Jasper. I could tell she was trying to keep me distracted but all I could feel was annoyance. Carlisle smiled as we listened to Rosalie grumbling as she entered the house far ahead of Emmett and Tanya.

"I can't believe they made me spend the day with that bitch. She is so obnoxious and she thinks she is so pretty! Hmph!" I held back my amusement as Rose entered the living room with a glare that fit right in with the 'if looks could kill' category. I wasn't surprised seeing how I probably would have killed Tanya after about five minutes with her.

"Sounds like you had a good time, Rose!" Alice commented with a smirk before ducking as Rose chucked a book at her. I chuckled quietly for a moment before holding it back again as Rose turned her glare on me.

"Rose! How did you get here ahead of us?" Emmett's booming voice echoed through the house and Rosalie quickly composed her features into a more polite expression as Tanya stepped through the door. Emmett sat down the Rosalie while Tanya merely leaned against the wall next to the kitchen door.

"How was your trip?" Carlisle inquired as he turned towards Tanya. I didn't much care what she had to say about the trip, I was much too stuck on what she was wearing. She was, once again, clad in a barely there outfit that left practically nothing to the imagination. If she bent forward even the tiniest bit her butt would have been hanging out of the mini skirt she had chosen to wear. I was surprised to have her standing in front of me a few moments later and made a mental note to pay better attention to what was going on around me.

"I believe we got off on the wrong foot. I have been told your name is Bella. I'm Tanya." I tried not to laugh as she held out one delicate pale hand to me. I wanted to snap at her again and walk away but it seemed childish to do it again so I reached up and took her hand in mine.

"Hello Tanya." It took all I had to grasp her hand normally instead of trying to crush it when we shook hands. In a flash she was back across the room and leaning against the wall. Alice looked over at me sympathetically while Carlisle continued to make small talk with Tanya.

I could feel the unidentifiable emotion move towards me so very slowly as I sat with my new family. I tried to define it, to force it all to make sense but it moved so slowly, as though it were waiting for the moment he walked in the door. I could hear the steps then, the way he ran as he moved closer to the house where we all sat. I watched as Alice stood, followed by the rest of the family.

I vaguely thought about standing but Alice shook her head no as they hid me from view. I wouldn't be able to see him and he would not be able to see me until the rest of the family moved. I could see Tanya's confused expression as she continued to lean against the wall. Her eyes moved from me to the Cullen's in rapid succession until we could hear Edward stepping up the porch. I watched as her whole body tensed in anticipation.

I listened as the door opened and then Alice was a blur of movement, almost knocking him over as she hugged him. His scent flowed after him into the room and I had to fight back the urge to start breathing it in again.

"Edward!! I missed you! How are you, how was your trip?" I could hear Edward chuckle at her antics while that unknown emotion started to come closer. I tried to figure out what it was before I saw him.

"Whoa, Alice. Slow down. No need to bombard me as soon as I walk in the door. We will have plenty of time to chat once I see everyone." Alice stepped away from him, back to where she was, and I still hadn't gotten to see him but his velvet voice brought the unknown emotion closer.

"Edward." I looked towards Tanya as she stepped out of my sight. I could hear her as she slipped her arms around him and pulled him to her. He patted her lightly on the back but didn't seem to want her any closer. I felt a satisfied smile stretch across my face. I knew he didn't want her, Alice had told me so and I trusted Alice with that much but it was nice to see or hear the truth in his actions.

"Tanya. It's so nice to see you again. Are you visiting for a while?" I let his words flow over me and held back the shudders as I tried to control the emotions that were running through me. It wasn't until the unknown emotion crashed over me that I realized what it was. I tried to suppress it but it had been growing in the recesses of my mind for two years and now I knew there was no stopping it.

Alice turned her head towards me, her eyes wide in panic as she saw what would happen next. Yet her panic didn't matter because Edward had finally noticed that they were hiding someone.

"Why are all of you grouped like that?" He inquired, his tone curious and confused since I was sure they were all trying to keep their thoughts occupied by something besides me. I wanted to jump out from behind them and smack him. I wanted to leave, to run until the anger was gone. The unknown emotion shouldn't have been anger but that was what it was. He had known!

I felt my hands curl into fists as I fought my own overwhelming anger as the pieces started to fall into place. He had known he was strong enough and yet he had let it all happen.

"Edward... Um... Well, we have another guest but I don't think... I... Maybe this should wait..." I wanted to laugh as Alice tried to think of a way to get out of Edward and I meeting while I was so upset.

"Alice? Why are you? Wait. Why can't I hear who ever is behind you?" In the next second I was face to face with the most beautiful man I had ever set eyes on and all I wanted to do was laugh at his surprise as I fought back the urge to scream at him. He didn't say a word, just stared, as my body stood and stepped back. I kept moving until I was against the glass of the back wall and then I knew I had to leave.

My mind cataloged Tanya's shocked expression, Alice's panic, and Jasper's utter confusion at my sudden change of emotion before I was in motion. I was out the back door before any of them could react and I could hear, as I ran, when Edward finally reacted. Alice was the first to grab him and then Emmett was holding him back along with Jasper.

"That was... that was... I have to... Let me go!" I heard him growl at his siblings as he fought to come after me and then I was too far to hear his words or theirs. The forest was closing in on all sides of me and the wildlife was spread out around me as I fought to keep from turning back around. I was too upset to be anywhere near him. I could feel my body start to shake, my eyes straining as I realized that this was my body's way of crying.

I ran until I was sure I had to be half way through Canada and then collapsed into a shuddering mess at the base of a large maple tree. I could hear as any life around me scattered away from where I chose to lay. My mind was void of any thoughts as I tried to work through my anger.

He had known he was strong enough to protect me from Jake and he had done nothing...

* * *

APOV

I didn't realize until too late, he already knew someone else was there. She had been fine moments before and then the picture had changed. I knew as soon as she saw him it would be pandemonium. Yet he couldn't follow her, I could see the disaster in that, if things weren't disastrous enough.

"Edward, calm down, please! We don't want to have to hold you here until she comes back. She needs time! Edward! Hey, are you even listening to me?!" I tried to wave my hand in front his eyes only to have him snap at me. I sighed in exasperation, he was half mad, I could see it in his eyes, which were unfocused as he fought to get out of Emmett and Jasper's hold. I could feel the waves of calm Jasper was trying to work over Edward but they seemed to have no effect on him.

Tanya hadn't moved an inch since Edward had seen Bella. She seemed to have frozen against the wall as she took in what was going on with Edward. Almost as if she were afraid of the man in front of her, or upset that he seemed so torn up over another woman. I wasn't sure but her goal for coming here hadn't changed one bit so I supposed it was the latter. I looked over at Carlisle, who was watching Edward, disappointment clear in his eyes at his son's reaction.

"Edward. Son, you need to calm down. If you don't snap out of it she wont want to come back." I stepped back as Carlisle moved in front of Edward. That seemed to do the trick, or maybe it was the thought of Bella not coming back, but Edward went limp and then Emmett was holding him up instead of holding him back. I felt bad for Edward, after all that had happened, after losing the one thing that mattered to him. Yet his reaction, the way he responded had not helped anything, so I couldn't quite defend him for the way he was acting.

"Bella." He whispered, the pain and confusion in his eyes was heartbreaking as Emmett dumped him into one of the sofas. I quickly sat down on the floor in front of him to explain why Bella was here and so different. I couldn't tell him a lot, that was Bella's job, but he had to know at least that I had changed her and that we had been in Mexico for the year.

"Edward, can you listen to me for a minute? Pull your self together." I waited until he finally decided to take control and be a rational being before I launched into a summary of what had happened. He sat perfectly still as I spoke, his eyes trained on my face as I he listened to my thought processes. He didn't even bother to ask me to say it out loud.

"You? But Alice... why?" His expression changed to one of confusion as he tried to understand what had made me change her. I changed my thoughts started reciting whatever I could as I responded aloud.

"That is up to her to tell you. That part is her story and hers alone. She will tell you, eventually. If you act normally around her. She is extremely upset right now but she will be back." This seemed to relax him a bit as he took an unnecessary breath and then stood. It was then that Tanya seemed to break from her frozen state and she was immediately moving over to Edward's side. I tried to hold back an eye roll as she threw herself on him.

"Edward... do you know Bella? What's wrong? What happened?" She practically cooed into his ear and he flinched away from her. I tried not to laugh as he pried her off of him. She narrowed her eyes at my amused expression before slinking over to another sofa. She was clearly upset and Edward didn't even notice, though he had never been that rude to her before. He was just too far in shock to care.

"I'll be upstairs." He stated quietly before vanishing up the stairs and into his room. We all listened for a moment as he pulled off the cover on his piano and started to play. It was a song he had written a few weeks after he had met Bella. I knew it was her song, I was the only one who knew this within the family. It was beautiful yet sad which fit his mood perfectly in this moment.

I felt my vision cloud over slightly and Jasper was quick to sit beside me, sending waves of calm over me as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. Bella was convulsing in the darkness of a forest. It was cold, though I knew she couldn't feel it. This was her now, I was sure of that much and that was where she would stay until she had figured out why she was so angry.

She would be back in two days time, though the vision showed me nothing of her reaction. I wouldn't know until she got here and even then there were so many different paths she could take. I turned into Jasper and he wrapped his arms around me as Edward began composing another melody, even more melancholy then the last. This was going to be a very long two days.

* * *

EPOV

I had been searching for her for over six months and Alice had been with her the entire time. She had been alive, turned into one of my own, and Alice had hidden it all from me. It was like a slap in the face to hear what happened and yet all I could see was Bella's expression when I had finally laid eyes on her.

The hatred and anger was enough to render me speechless as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. Yet even as I tried to force myself to speak, to say something, she was backing away and as soon as she vanished I was jumping forward only to be yanked back.

I could hear myself yelling something, arguing and then Alice was yelling right back at me but I couldn't hear any of it as I stared out at where her pale form had disappeared. I had to get to her and that was all my mind would allow in that moment as my family fought to gain my attention. Logically I knew I was acting crazy and that nothing would ever get done if I didn't focus but emotionally I was so tied up I couldn't respond.

It wasn't until my brain heard someone say that she would never come back with me acting the way I was that I was finally able to break out of my crazed state only to fall limp into Emmett's hands. I tried to ignore the disappointment of those around me and I know I had acted very rudely towards Tanya but none of it mattered.

All that mattered now was that my Bella return and until then I would sit at my piano, watching for her while playing for her. It didn't matter if she could hear me or not, all that I needed now was for her to return and Alice's vision showed me that she would be back in two days. Two days and by then I would be ready for her, to listen and explain whatever she needed me to explain. She had every right to be angry but I would find a way to explain. I couldn't lose her again, I could not fail her again. I couldn't live with myself if I did.

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**Angry, confused Bella is throwing the family for a loop! :)**

**Reviews? Pretty please with an Edward on top!!**


	6. Dead Weight

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 6:**** Dead Weight**

BPOV

It took me about twenty four hours to realize I ran away from the one person I couldn't live without but I still couldn't bring myself to move towards Forks yet. Everything there was still so painful. My memories were sharp as my thoughts wandered from my anger at Edward to my anger at Jacob for causing all of this. I wondered if he had found a new girlfriend to torture or if he was still single and keeping his abusive tendencies to himself.

I couldn't imagine Jacob as anyone other than the abusive shapeshifter I had experienced. The only thing that could change his nature would be his imprint but Jacob had been sure that was me. After our one year anniversary and a lifetime of knowing Jacob I had asked Sam about the entire imprint situation.

_"Bella. I know Jacob believes that you are his imprint but if that were the case he would never be able to hurt you the way he does. You have to see that what he is doing is wrong. I know he is the Alpha but that does not make his actions acceptable." I felt myself nod in agreement, secretly aware that I would do nothing to change the way Jacob and I were._

_ Without him I was nothing. He had made that abundantly clear. I watched as Sam's expression changed to one of utter hopelessness. He didn't believe me either. He knew I couldn't leave. I fought against the tears that threatened as I ran out of Emily's small house on the reservation. Where had I run to?_

_ Right into Jacob's arms._

_ "Shhhh. It's gunna be okay, honey. What happened?" I tried to push myself into his warm body but he pulled me back, worry evident in his eyes. I loved when he was like this but I knew if I told the truth, what I had asked Sam, that I would end up regretting it._

_ "I... I... I'm late! Charlie is going to kill me if I don't get home!" I tried to keep my voice high and panicky, just the way I came in but I watched fearfully as his eyes narrowed. Shit. I tried to step back, pulling my car keys out of my pocket, but he was quicker. Next thing I knew my car keys were dangling from one of his large hands while another hand was twisted in my hair, yanking me off balance._

I let my whole body curl up as if bracing for impact while one of my most vivid human memories replayed in my mind. My anger flashed hot and brilliant then as I fought to keep myself from going to La Push. I didn't want to kill him, I had let it go. Which was a complete lie. My whole body was up, growling and feral, before I had a chance to second guess my actions.

I could feel myself coiling up and springing outward as I set my course for the one person I could kill without any remorse. My wallowing days were up and now he was going to pay for what he did to me. I could hear, faintly, the growls emanating from my chest as I ran at top speed towards the reservation.

_ Come out, come out where ever you are..._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

APOV

It felt good to be home, even with Edward's moping form. He hadn't left his room since Bella had run off. I couldn't say I was surprised though since that was just the way Edward was when he didn't get his way. The only frustrating part about Edward's actions were the way it was effecting my Jasper. He looked to be in a constant state of melancholy when he was within the house.

Edward's sorrow was endless, so after a few hours I dragged Jasper from the house and out into the surrounding forest to get him away from it all. We spent most of the time just running and hunting but it felt good to spend time with him alone. We hadn't been truly alone in two years, ever since Bella was changed.

It wasn't that she didn't try to give us our time but I knew how it made her feel to be alone and I hated to have to see her so depressed. I wanted my best friend to be happy and so Jasper had been the neglected one in some cases over the time away.

"Alice...? Alice, what are you seeing?" I couldn't bring myself to turn towards my beloved as flashes of Bella covered in bright red blood came into focus in my mind. I watched as she wrinkled her nose against the smell and I knew this was not human blood. We had a new problem on our hands. Bella was angry, beyond angry, and if we didn't start running back now we would never make it. As soon as the thought began I was running, Jasper at my heels as I explained in a soft voice what I thought I had seen.

It would be soon, the two days in which I had seen Bella curled up on the ground were almost up and we had to be there or the war would begin. Carlisle would be so disappointed, after working so hard, to have to fight the wolves. Our treaty was precarious at best and if she went through with this we would have to kill all of them, or flee. I knew I wasn't quite ready to flee yet so I pushed myself faster.

I tried to push my visions, to make them tell me what I needed to know. Would we make it in time? My efforts were wasted though as my visions remained obnoxiously blank. The only thing I could see clearly was Tanya's victorious face as she planned out her newest ideas to be with Edward. Irritating unpredictability. I scowled into the coming darkness and Jasper shot me a confused look as we ran. I knew my emotions were confusing him but I didn't feel like taking the time to explain what was going on in my head.

I looked again, pushing for the visions to give me what I needed but as soon as she made the conscious choice it was gone. God damn shapeshifter. I could smell her now, as could Jasper, and I trailed quickly, all the while hoping we could stop her before she crossed the line.

"Bella!" I shouted, hoping to catch her attention, make her turn for just a moment. Jasper seemed to catch on rather quickly as his baritone voice joined mine in one shout of her name and then he grew silent. We could both hear her, running as quickly as she could ahead of us. Her decision never wavered as she drew closer to her goal.

Something changed though, as soon as she reached the line she began to run parallel to it. Her plan began to solidify in my vision. She wanted to find a loose trail of his that would lead off into the forest. Why he would cross into our territory was beyond me but as soon as she approached the town of Forks I knew we were in trouble. Jacob had been here not long ago.

His scent was altered somehow and I wracked my brain for what it may have been tainted with. I couldn't focus too hard on the mystery though or we would lose Bella. We skirted the town in the darkness, the residents blissfully unaware of the danger that lived all around them. I growled in frustration as my visions vanished while Jacob's tainted trail only grew stronger.

We had to catch her before she caught up to him. All of a sudden Jasper grabbed my arm and yanked me back, surprising me and almost pulling me to the ground. I glared at him momentarily before he apologized and turned towards where we had been running. I let my senses take over again and realized with chagrin that Bella had stopped just a few miles from her destination.

I let my senses range out in front of her and found the sluggish pulse and warm aura of Jacob along with a quicker pulse that registered with me as human. Jacob didn't have any human friends as far as I knew and immediately I jumped forward to catch Bella while she stood still. I saw her through the tree's seconds later, her back to me, frozen as I leapt for her back. As soon as I had my arms curled around her to hold her back Jasper stepped in front of her.

Whatever she was feeling must have been anguishing because he winced while trying to keep a straight face and calm her. It was no easy task. As soon my vision shifted, coming back to me with Bella running home with us, I let her go and moved to stand in front of her. She hadn't moved a muscle since I had jumped. The pain, fear, and loathing in her eyes was enough to make me want to rip Jacob's throat out, treaty be damned.

"Bella, love, come on. Let's go home." I kept my voice low, soft and gentle for her. I hated the drowning expression that graced such beautiful features. I could feel the calm, could see it numbing her slowly. She didn't make any attempt to fight it as I tugged her slowly back towards the house. We ran in complete silence while I search desperately for a way to make it all right again.

_Not yet, Edward. Please just wait. You have been waiting for her for over a century, a few more hours wont kill you._ I thought as strongly as I could once we were approaching the house. I watched as my vision shifted again, Edward would wait. I exhaled in relief but the worry returned rather quickly as my gaze shifted to Bella once more. Now, more than ever, she looked like a true corpse. I knew if we were tugging her along with us that she would stand frozen if we ever let go. She wasn't even going to try and move on her own.

I led us up one flight of stairs then, up into my bedroom, the one I shared with Jasper, and sat Bella on the edge of the bed. Jasper moved to sit behind her, closer to the center of the bed and kept one calming hand on her shoulder. Her expression was blank, dead, as I reached up to touch her cheek. She made no move to acknowledge me.

"Bella, sweetie, please talk to me. Please...?" She didn't even blink as an overwhelming sadness seemed to permeate the very air I was breathing. I could see flashes of her frozen body stretch far into the future. I certainly wasn't going to leave her like this but no matter what decision I made it didn't seem to change a thing. My gaze met Jaspers hopelessly but he didn't mirror my expression.

"What about...?" His eyes lifted upwards, towards the higher stairs. This seemed to change the vision as I am sure Edward heard what Jasper was thinking. I could see Bella's tearless sobs, the cracking of this dead state.

_"Yes..."_ I hissed with a small smile. I was seventy-five percent sure that would work and that was better than anything I had decided on earlier. Jasper climbed off the bed in one swift move and I stood, taking his hand in mine. As we walked out the door I could see Edward hesitating at the end of the hall, by the stairs that led to his room.

"Just be careful." I kept my voice low but strong as I spoke to him. He gave a slight nod and in the next moment he was standing just outside the door while Jasper pulled me away to the lower floors. I had been planning on sitting in the living room and keeping tabs on Bella's reaction but before I could protest Jasper was tugging me out the door.

"No one else is home. Let them work through this themselves for once, love." His soft voice brought my resistance to an end as I gazed at him in wonder. I knew we were meant to be together for a reason.

"I love you." My voice was just below a whisper but his answering smile was brilliant as he tugged me into his embrace.

"I love you too, Alice. Always and forever." The next thing that registered was his soft lips pressing gently into mine. I knew I could stay right in that moment forever.

* * *

EPOV

I was down the stairs before Jasper had finished his thought but for some reason my body seemed to hesitate at the end of the hall as I waited for Alice and Jasper to emerge from the room. I didn't want to hurt her again and she was already in so much pain. My heart screamed at me to enter, to console her, but my mind merely reminded me of all the pain I had caused for her since we had met.

I watched, eyes wide as my brother and sister exited the room. Alice hissed at me to be careful, the warning heavy and serious in her eyes. I couldn't bring myself to speak so I nodded before flitting to the door, behind which sat the only creature in this world that made this existence worth living.

I could hear Jasper thinking that I should use my time wisely as he tugged Alice out the front door. I thanked him while the silence of an empty house weighed upon me. After a moment I knocked quietly and opened the door to my frozen beloved. My entry seemed to gain no attention, no reaction as she stared at the wall in front of her. My heart sank and twisted as I took in her dead expression.

So much pain...

I felt myself close the door slowly and walk over to her without consciously choosing to do so. It was as though my body could not refuse her call, a constant tug on me to be close to her. I yearned to touch her, hold her, and comfort her until she was smiling again. I moved slowly, not sure what she would do with my close proximity. It was as though I wasn't even there.

I could feel my dead heart squeeze as I fought my own despair at her state. I slid slowly onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her frame before pulling her into me. It didn't take long for me to lay us both down and wrap myself around her in an attempt to comfort her. Her frozen form only moved as I curled around her, my own body molding hers.

"Bella... I know this is hard and I know you are angry with me but you must know that Jacob can do you no more harm. You are free from all of it. You are free and strong and I love you. I know I failed you the moment I let him take you away again. I betrayed you by letting it happen and I don't expect forgiveness but I will never stop loving you Isabella Marie Swan. Ever." I didn't expect a response, let alone the shuddering that began as my words faded into the silence.

I knew she was crying in the tearless way that only vampires could and I hugged her tighter against me while her whole body shook. My hand moved to rub soothing circles into her arm as we lay together and I lent her my strength as she fought her own inner demons. It took every ounce of my willpower not to leap up and search out Jacob Black for causing this. In the end it was her need that kept my arms around her as she sobbed.

After about an hour and a half there was a shift in her sobs, a slowing in her breathing as she seemed to climb out of her despair. I moved just slightly, tightening my grip and breathing in her unique scent but at my movements she froze again, the sobs halting completely. I felt myself freeze up as well, my breathing stopped momentarily as I wondered at what she would do to me for being near her.

"He was with a human girl, in a small clearing. They were just sitting together, laughing and talking. What if he hurts her, Edward? What if she tries to do what I did?" My thoughts caught up quickly as I realized that she wasn't angry with me, she was merely scared for the girl that Jacob was with. She didn't want whoever this girl was to give in and let Jacob hurt her.

All of a sudden she twisted out of my grasp to face me, her eyes so full of swirling emotions that I had to fight not to look away. How do you react in the face of so much pain?

"It could be his imprint. Maybe he wont hurt her at all and if he is hurting her than we can stop him. We can talk to the elders and see what they can do." There was the slightest change as she considered my words, a glimmer of hope in her eyes as she thought it all through. She still wanted to kill him, the anger at his actions had not subsided, but she would be civil and keep her distance.

Bella cuddled into me then, refusing to look at me as I tried to meet her gaze once more. I wanted to make things right, for all the stupid choices I had made.

"I'm sorry for running away. It was all so overwhelming, all the emotions and the memories. I was so angry with you for just standing there and watching while Jake dragged me away but I don't blame you anymore. I know you were just trying to protect me." Her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear, which didn't happen very often. I felt her hands grab fistfuls of my shirt as though she were sure I would try to run away if she didn't hold on.

"You have nothing to be sorry for and you had every right to be angry with me. I was angry with myself that I did nothing. I could have kept you from him but I was adamant on you making your own choice. I was not going to force you to love me, I still wont force you to love me. You don't even have to like me if you don't want to. Just don't leave." I knew the pain was breaking through my tone as I contemplating her leaving again. I knew I wouldn't survive it if she did.

"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered and I smiled before placing a soft kiss on her hair. I had brought her back from the edge and she wasn't angry or leaving. The only thing holding me back now was Jacob. I would not let that particular matter rest until we had found out whether he was back to his old ways or not. I would call Seth, he would know what was happening and he would be willing to talk to me.

I could hear Alice's gleeful thoughts as her and Jasper bounded through the front door, followed by Rose and Emmett. It was so normal the way Emmett and Jasper merely picked up their video game controls for a match while Alice and Rose gathered around the computer to design a few new outfits they had in mind.

It was a bit like they were forcing themselves to leave Bella and I alone.

I'm glad she opened up to you. I heard Jasper think as he focused on the game. I wanted to respond in some way just to show him how much I agreed with his thought but instead I just pulled her closer, our breathing the only sound in the room.

* * *

**Thoughts, feelings, concerns? I would love to hear about them. :)**


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